While writing yesterday’s email one of the points that I shared with you about living your life out loud struck up a memory of a conversation that I recently had with my friend Nicole.
Give yourself permission.
We have rules, there are some (like laws) that we can’t / shouldn’t break and then there are a whole host of other rules that we give ourselves that legally we can break left right and centre but choose not to – for any of you shaking your head saying ‘no Jen, I just can’t break my rules’, let me ask you this, do you ever sit just above the speed limit on the motorway or have a drink underage? If you did, then you are capable of breaking rules.
Now, this conversation with Nicole had been about an ‘a-ha moment’ (not the 80’s pop band) that had been a huge turning point for her.
She is doing an online course specifically for people who follow a paleo diet and train at crossfit, they have a training plan, eating plan and a facebook group forum. One of the girls in the group had posted that she was feeling really bad about herself because she had messed up that week with her eating and had some stuff that she wasn’t supposed to.
The coach’s response… ‘So?!’
Yes, we buy in to programmes and plans to hold us accountable and keep us on track, have support etc but also to teach us about things we don’t have the knowledge of… Sometimes that knowledge is permission to not be perfect.
Society puts these pressures on us, league tables, the perfect body, the perfect family, the perfect relationship, be the best at everything or you will get nowhere in life…
That is bullshit. There is no standardised ‘perfect’.
The only thing you can ever expect of yourself or anyone else is that you give your best effort in that moment in time.
Some days you might not feel great so your best that day isn’t the same as your best yesterday, but that is ok.
When you mess up, fall of track, don’t get the result you hoped for, have a failed marriage, come somewhere other than the very top… ask yourself ‘So?!’
If you have the attitude of always doing your best in that moment, that is all you can expect of you and no one else has the right to demand anything else from you (unless of course you go in half hearted and you need to be called out).
Give yourself permission to fuck up sometimes. We all do, and we all survive.
Go break some of your rules and have an amazing Thursday