Is It Love?

We are our own biggest critics.

How many times a day do you give yourself in to trouble, or put yourself down and say something nasty that you wouldn’t say to anyone else?

We all do it. We are so mean to ourselves it’s not funny.

I would like to think that if you have been reading my emails for a while now or have signed up for the Warrior Woman Project that you are much more aware of your words and how you speak to yourself, but, I do know that you will sometimes slip up and give yourself a hard time. Remember, if you had a ‘friend’ that spoke to you like you speak to you, you would not spend time with them.

We can’t get away from ourselves, we are there in our heads 24/7. Today, day 22 you need to say ‘I love you’.

TO YOURSELF.

Say it over and over and over. Say it until you believe it.

If you don’t love you, then you are going to struggle to have people in your life that love you the way you should be loved.

Self-care is about self-love, you treating you like you are the queen of your own empire (which you are).

I have an awesome t-shirt that says ‘fall in love with someone who treats you like Kanye treats Kanye’.

Kanye West is the king of making himself number 1 in his world. And look at how successful he is. Some would say he is arrogant and puts himself first.

I don’t know him personally, but he may come across that way to some people. But, people that know how to put themselves first are able to give the best of themselves to those around them. They are happiest within themselves and the world they have created for them. It’s not about being arrogant, it’s about putting your wants and needs first.

Telling yourself ‘I love you’ and believing it, is your first step in respecting yourself and allowing you to prioritise your needs and wants and making you happy.

‘I love you’

Jen x

PS If you know anyone who would benefit from these emails please forward this email or send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up

Day 1 – Self-love letter, Day 2 – Meditate, Day 3 – Create a ritual, Day 4 – Take a bath, Day 5 – Eat mindfully,

Day 6 – Go barefoot, Day 7 – Tech-tox, Day 8 Delegate, Day 9 Write your fears, Day 10 schedule your day,

Day 11 Gaze at the stars, Day 12 Start Journaling, Day 13 de-clutter, Day 14 Buy yourself blooms, Day 15 Write your dreams,

Day 16 Pamper yourself, Day 17 Create boundaries, Day 18 eat clean, Day 19 watch the sunrise

Day 20 get in to nature, Day 21 go somewhere new.

 

Getting in the habit

Day 3, Create a ritual. Rituals are things that you do on a regular basis. You brush your teeth morning and night, that is a ritual. You have tea with your breakfast and read these emails while you are doing that, that is a ritual.

Your day is full of them, how many of them though are beneficial to you? Obviously brushing your teeth and reading these emails are highly beneficial. But, is having a biscuit with every cup of tea really that good for you? I stopped drinking regular tea because I had created a ritual of tea and a biscuit all the time… biscuits are not so tasty with herbal tea.

What we want to do now is create some more and new rituals that are going to benefit your health and overall wellbeing.

Things you can start to make a ritual:

Meditate

Drink warm water with lemon in it to cleanse your kidneys and liver first thing in the morning

Do a morning stretch session or yoga

Write morning pages – the very first thoughts that come in to your head without thinking about them write them down and keep writing for 10-20mins without stopping, without reading back, without correcting spelling or punctuation.

Go for a morning walk or jog

Think of something that will give you some time for you and be a benefit to you and start doing it. You might need to set yourself a reminder each day to start with, but you will quickly get in to the habit and before you know you will make it part of your day without thinking about it.

I would love to hear what your rituals are

Jen x

PS If you know someone who would benefit from these emails, gratitude or the Warrior Woman Project please send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up

A month of gratitude

A month of gratitude… Being consciously grateful for things makes you realise how much in your life you actually have. This whole month we are going to focus on being grateful and notice the positive effect it has on our lives.

So, on this Day 1 we are going to write a Self-Love Letter.

Sit down and write a letter to yourself as you are the 3rd person…

Eg. Dear Jen, I am really liking your carefree attitude to your hair these days, the beach babe style is really suiting you (especially as you are lazing about the beach this week).

Etc… you are writing to yourself about yourself. Think of all the things you like about yourself, your skills, talents, good points, achievements. Really dig deep and get everything down that makes you awesome, unique and genuine.

Take a step back from yourself and appreciate how fantastic you actually are.

Write it, read it, put it somewhere safe so you can bring it out again and again to read – especially when you are having one of those shit days when all you feel like you are doing is beating yourself up and want to do is eat cake!

If you have it, use nice paper and a good pen… If you don’t then don’t use that as an excuse to not do the task. You could type it up on your computer or phone so you have it saved electronically but it will be more powerful if you hand write the words.

Don’t think too hard about what you are writing, don’t worry about sounding egotistical, this is for you. No one else needs to read it. It’s all you.

Get writing.

Jen x

PS If you know someone who would benefit from these emails, some gratitude in their life or the Warrior Woman Project then please send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up to the emails

Make it a treat

Continuing on from yesterdays email about starting to love what is inside first… How did you get on with the task?

Today I want to bring your attention to your actions… If you are someone who emotionally eats, how do you know when it’s time to eat/drink? What just happened that sent you to the kitchen? Is there something else you could go and do instead?

Ask yourself these same questions whatever your obsessive or negative action is; drinking, shopping, exercise.

What is it that happens right before you bury your head in the sand / distract yourself?

This is a tough thing to do but when you get your head around it and realise it is not as bad as you think it is it will be a much greater benefit to you.

When something happens that causes a wobble – someone says something to hurt you, you think things to hurt you, things don’t work out how you hoped or planned… Notice what the emotion is that comes with that; hurt, sadness, pain, regret or whatever it might be and acknowledge it but don’t get caught up in the story of what happened then move on.

The more you rerun the story, the more dramatic it becomes.

We use food and drink as a comforter or reward system and that is damaging to our health so it is important to retrain your thoughts about them.

Have food & alcohol as a treat but never as a reward. You do not deserve or need the wine, chocolate, cake etc, you have it as a treat and something to look forward to.

It will be challenging especially if you have been brought up with the, be good and you will get… rather than it’s Friday, that means chocolate biscuit day.

Keep going, keep focused on the internal self love and do more of what makes you happy.

Have an acknowledging day

Jen x

PS If you know anyone that would benefit from these emails please send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up.

Start Inside

Do you struggle constantly trying to improve your external appearance to make you feel better inside?

 

Constant diets, over exercising, new hairstyles, new hair colours, always buying clothes, shoes, bags, getting your teeth whitened, botox, plastic surgery…

 

So many of us want to try and change the external appearance without loving what is inside first.

 

You have to love yourself internally to love yourself externally. When you love yourself inside then you will only do the things that make you happy and feel good inside and that will make you look good on the outside.

 

When I feel shit about myself I generally eat crappy choices that just make me feel worse, but when I don’t give in to that and eat good food when I feel down I start to feel better.

 

You will eat the right foods to make you feel good, you will do things that make you feel good and not be a punishment (like exercise) you will take time to calm your mind and make room for you and you will smile more and everyone knows that a smile makes you instantly more beautiful.

 

Maybe you have made yourself really busy with life, working too hard for other people, you might get lost looking after for everyone else feeding them, making them feel loved, making them happy… what about you?

 

What are you doing to make you feel loved?

 

Doing things for others is part of who we are but when we prioritise them over ourselves it has a negative effect…

 

Let’s start to make a list of the things we love about ourselves from the inside…

 

Minimum 5 now and add another 5 minimum by the end of the day… If you have more than that then keep going.

 

Time for some self lovin’

 

Jen x

 

PS If you know someone who would benefit from these emails please send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up for the emails

 

I hate you so much right now

I hate you so much right now…

I hate you, you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re useless, you’re not worth it, you don’t deserve good things, you’re a failure… There are a lot of nasty things that we tell ourselves and all too often. Let’s face it, telling yourself it once is one time too often. That nasty bitch that lives in our heads is our own worst critic that never gives us a break.

Each time you tell yourself one of these lies, you look for verification that it is true, what you look for you find.

If you think you are fat, you weigh yourself, compare yourself to someone else who is smaller than you, try on an outfit that you know doesn’t fit you.

If you think you are ugly, you only see and hear the people who you think reject you, you forget about all the friends and family you have that love you and see your beauty.

You go out of your way to prove to yourself that you are no good.

If your friend spoke to you like that, how long would you let them hang around? Even the meanest of people would think twice about saying these things out loud. If someone spoke like that to me, chances are they wouldn’t have their own teeth for long (not that I condone violence, but you wouldn’t stand there and take it).

What do you do to shut her up?

This can be tough to do especially if you have done a good job of convincing yourself that you are a worthless, ugly piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to be happy.

The good news is though if you can convince yourself that much that you are crap, you will have the same power within you to turn that round.

It’s your choice what you think and how you feel about yourself.

First thing I want you to do is get out of your own head, look at yourself as though you are actually standing outside your own body looking at you as a stranger. What do the people who love you think of you? What is it the love about you? What are your positive traits that you have on your CV? Why do your friends want to hang out with you?

Find 5 things that you love about yourself (these can be physical or personality) do this first thing in the morning.

Once you have that 5, keep the list where you can see it.

Then, at the end of your day add at least another 5 to that list.

Tomorrow and the next day and for the rest of the week, repeat, repeat, repeat… find as many things as you can and create a huge list so big that when the nasty thoughts come in to your head you have that list ready.

Believe in yourself

Jen x