Set It On Fire

Yesterday I mentioned about doing things on your own and how it can challenge you and build character… I also mentioned that it can bring some of your self-doubt crap up, the things that make you question ‘are you good enough?’

What I want you to try today is start getting rid of that crap.

Write it down, empty your head, all those negative thoughts, the doubts, your worries…

Then you are going to burn that bit of paper (in a safe place of course, please don’t have any house or office fires – we have all seen that Valentines episode of Friends) OR put it through the shredder.

Whatever you do, destroy that bit of paper, it’s one, it’s over, it’s rubbish.

Then I want you to write a list of all the things you have achieved, challenges you have overcome, things you have done that you never thought you could…

This list is one you keep.

AND,

Keep adding to…

This is your reminder of what you can do when you put your mind to it.

I will leave it up to you if you want to add to it Things To Do, these are your goals, dreams things you want to achieve. I like to have these so I can tick them off and add them to the achieved list.

I will also let you decide where and how you do this, mine is on a spreadsheet and also on a whiteboard.

Have a heads up Tuesday, do great things

Jen x

PS If you know someone who would benefit from these emails please send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up

Stand Alone

Sometimes you have to do stuff on your own, even when you don’t want to.

Being self-employed can be a lonely gig at times, especially when there is no one around to bounce ideas off, have a giggle with, or get distracted by. There are times that I wish there was someone there to hold my hand and I question what the hell I am doing, BUT I look at all the stuff I get done, the difference I make and how far I have come on my own and feel mega proud of myself.

When you do achieve things on your own you get that wee buzz, the sense of satisfaction that you pulled the big girl pants on and this is all you… Yeah you need to high 5 yourself, but that is ok… You did it, you are strong, confident, and independent and you remember why you are doing it.

About a month ago I went to a wedding reception on my own and that was tough, I didn’t want to go alone but it was Nicole’s  40th birthdays and I had double booked myself – I really wanted to drop by Mic and Gemma’s wedding… They are a couple so in love and happy that I am inspired by and they give me hope so wanted to go and celebrate with them. I went along to see for an hour, I got to see them cut the cake and have their first dance. I didn’t really know anyone else there so stood at the bar drinking my water but feeling proud of myself and happy that I had done it.

I would have been annoyed with myself if I had chickened out of going.

When you are challenged, it can feel like an uphill struggle and brings up a lot of questions but pushing through, doing it anyway makes you thankful after. It just made you stronger. It just made you realise that you are capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for.

Whether you are working towards a goal, running your own business, fighting for that dream, remember that these are all yours and only you alone will have the passion and determination to make it happen.

Be proud that sometimes standing alone is a good thing and you are always building character.

Jen x

 

Be proud?

How many things have you done with your life that you have taken a moment to sit back and be proud of yourself?

I went through a phase of doing things, and being so focused on the next thing that I didn’t appreciate anything that I had done.

When I was going for NLP coaching I remember Brian (my coach) asking me how I felt about having done and achieving so many things already in life. Did I not feel proud?

At that moment in time I could quite honestly say that I did not know what it felt like to feel proud about achievements.

Being too proud to accept help I am a pro at, but being able to step back and say ‘I did that, it was hard work, and I pushed through against the odds and got there’ that kind of pride was alien to me.

Having people around you that point out your achievements. That make you realise that what you have done is out of the ordinary. That you are achieving things that many people would shy away from. They make you stop and celebrate your success with you.

I never dreamt when I was leaving school that I would even want to go to uni, never mind return to education at 30 years old.

I then went through a divorce and lost my grandmother in a short space of time and still achieved the highest grade in my class for my graded unit at college.

I didn’t stop to be proud, I needed to keep busy, find something else to drive me forward.

June 2014 I graduated from Stirling University with a Postgraduate Diploma with MERIT.  I left school with a Higher in English, and I was tutored the whole year to get me that C.

Since finding out I passed, and then finding out I passed with merit, I have felt proud of everything I am achieving.

More recently, my new business that I have set up and I am working on all on my own (with the exception of my business mentor), my consistent training I am getting stronger and happier with my body shape than I have been in years.

There is always room for improvement but appreciating the journey rather than focusing on the next destination.

The difference? I slowed down, took time to appreciate everything I was doing.

I stopped and took a look back at the last 5 years. Even the last 10 years. I have done more in the last decade than some have done in a lifetime. There is a lot there for me to be proud of.

When was the last time you stopped and looked back?

Start to write down some of your achievements. Once you get started and talk to the people close to you, they will remind you of things.

Keep your list.

I found an awesome book, every day you write a line, a memory, achievement, anything at all for that day. Every year you start again at the beginning.

Over 5 years you can see what happened on that very same date the year before.

I started using it nearly a year ago now and I am constantly writing things I look forward to remembering over again. You can get a copy on Amazon: One Line A Day, A 5 Year Memory Book << if you click on the blue it will take you to it in Amazon.

Start your list today. What are you proud of? Keep the list. Add to it.

Here’s to a future of achievements and memories

Jen x

 

 

 

Love yourself… RANT

You say you want to look better so that you will feel better about yourself, so that you will feel more confident, happier.

You say you want to find love but it seems you don’t even love yourself…

How much are you prioritising yourself?

Do you eat for health?

Do you exercise or do activities that keep you healthy?

Do you have hobbies, interests that entertain you?

Are you learning new things everyday to develop yourself in to an even more amazing person?

If the honest answer to any of these questions is no (and that includes answers of hesitation, sometimes or not really) then you need to get a grip.

We comes back to that term ‘self-sabotage’.

The only person preventing you from being happy is you.

There might be people around you questioning you, doubting your abilities. My question to you would be, why they hell are they still around?

If you don’t love and respect yourself then why would anyone else? You do not need someone to ‘save’ you or entertain you.

The people around you – friends, family, partners should be there to compliment your life not complete it.

Think of people you have moved on from…

How did those relationships start out? What happened? Why did you end up moving away from it?

This is not just boyfriends / husbands / partners, this is friendships too. There was a reason they started and a reason they ended (not always a fall out, sometimes just drifting apart, moving on, a change of chapter in your life).

It’s time for to fall in love with yourself.

Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you to be better and want better.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with…

Make that average BIG, make it AMAZING. Make it that other people want you to be part of their 5.

It’s time to stop bullshitting yourself.

It’s time to take control and make you a priority.

Write a list of the 5 things you are least happy with.

Then write a list of the 5 things you are most happy with.

Using the 5 things you are most happy with, how can you use them to your advantage to change the things you are least happy with?

Write it down.

Make a plan.

Start working on it.

I want to know how you are getting on… So, do it today and let me know.

Jen x

There were nearly tears…

My personal trainer was off on his holidays last week so I had been left homework to do… Which I did (a couple of times).

Yesterday we were testing to see how things are progressing.

Frustrated and angry are how I get when things don’t work like they should. And that is not just with the exercises that’s just overall.

I was pretty close to tears for the whole session…

It was the first time I had done weighted squats in about 7 months.

‘Hold at the bottom for a count of 3’ he said…

‘ok next one go deeper and hold’

I decked it.

My head said ‘nah this is too hard’ and everything switched off.

Get up, go again (this man has no time for my shit).

Next 4 were better. Still not great but better.

I have more homework to do.

If that had been me, in the gym on my own I would have either not squatted deep enough or chucked it after decking it.

Either way I would not get stronger, I would continue to have my reoccurring injuries.

Working on your weaknesses is HARD. I know. Admitting there are weaknesses is hard (if you are getting injuries there will come a point where you need to do something about it or give up).

I go to someone else for help with my fitness.

I go to someone else for help with my head.

I go to someone else for help with my nutrition.

Do I know how to do all of these things on my own? YES, I do and I help many people on a daily basis achieve their goals, clear their heads and get their nutrition sorted.

Why do I go to someone else?

I need that external person to hold me accountable. I need someone who is more experienced and has different knowledge from me. That is how I learn. That is how I succeed. I understand the value of what I offer.

You can read all the books and magazines, listen to podcasts, watch motivational clips on YouTube but if you don’t take action all you are doing is reading the manual.

Who holds you accountable? Who pulls you up when you are telling yourself those wee lies to make yourself feel better? (Remember yesterday’s email?)

There is no shortcut to your destination. There is no magic pill or wand that will make it all go away or be better.

The only thing that will make it happen is you.

You should have set goals by now… If not why the hell not?

Looking at your goals, what is it you will get out of achieving them? Now I am talking emotionally here. Not that you will get to fit in to that size 12 dress you bought 3 years ago promising you would get in to it back then.

How will you feel inside achieving your goal? Happy? Confident? Give you self-belief? Proud?

Once you know WHY it is you want that goal it will make it so much easier to push forward.

For me to be injury free will give me more confidence when I am working with the Master Trainers of the Indoor Cycling Group. I know my weaknesses are holding my back from being REALLY good.

What is your WHY?

Let me know.

Jen x

 

What makes you successful…

What makes you successful…

So recently we looked at Oscar Wilde’s quote about success being a science.

Goal + Plan + Contingency = Success

There is a lot more to success than just this simple equation.

Understanding your values, which we looked at on the 3rd day of your emails (‘Just Be Yourself’ worst advice ever). If you have not done this yet, I highly recommend that you go back to that email and action it. If you have not signed up for my emails you can here >>>https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

Know your unique strengths. We all have them. Are you confident, determined, driven, compassionate, and empathetic.

Some of us are independent with little in the way of external responsibility but take on the people close to us.

Some are parents with little people that need looked after.

Maybe you are the one everyone turns to for advice or help.

Look at your strengths, write them somewhere you will see them, and remember them.

Experiences, no one can take your experiences away. How you remember them will make the difference to how you live your life.

I have been fortunate to have traveled the world and had many experiences that I may not get to have again (more about that another time).

Happy experiences are easy to remember and relive in your mind. Less happy experiences can be more challenging to think about, but looking at it and taking a positive lesson to change the memory you have.

Who you have your experiences with can make a massive difference too. Many of my travels were with my ex, my memories are still happy ones because we had an amazing time and no one or nothing can take that away from us.

No one can tell you that you can’t learn about yourself, no one can stop you pushing your own levels, and no one can tell you who to hang out with – hang out with people who inspire and motivate you.

Don’t limit your passion or imagination.

What are you doing to be successful, no matter what area of your life? Whether it is work/business, social life, weight loss, fitness or love life, you need a plan. You need people around that can help. You need to believe in yourself.

Go back and look at your values (if you haven’t done them, put time aside in your calendar and make time to do them).

Look at your unique strengths, the other day I set you a challenge of finding 10 things you like about yourself. If you haven’t done that, set time aside.

What have you learned from your experiences? Who do you have that can help? Sometimes going outside your usual group of friends, find someone who will direct you.

I offer these mentoring services, take time out to work out your values, establish your strengths and understand your experiences. Set your goals and create your plan then keep you on track.

I have a meeting with my mentor next week and I can’t wait to take apart what I have been doing and set out the next steps.

How bad does it need to get before you make the change?

Jen x

Say it with pride

Do you know how to be proud of yourself?

How many things have you done with your life that you have taken a moment to sit back and be proud of yourself?

I went through a phase of doing things, and being so focused on the next thing that I didn’t appreciate anything that I had done.

When I was going for NLP coaching I remember Brian (my coach) asking me how I felt about having done and achieving so many things already in life. Did I not feel proud?

At that moment in time I could quite honestly say that I did not know what it felt like to feel proud about achievements.

Being too proud to accept help I am a pro at, but being able to step back and say ‘I did that, it was hard work, and I pushed through against the odds and got there’ that kind of pride was alien to me.

Having people around you that point out your achievements. That make you realise that what you have done is out of the ordinary. That you are achieving things that many people would shy away from. They make you stop and celebrate your success with you.

I never dreamed when I was leaving school that I would even want to go to uni, never mind return to education at 30 years old.

I then went through a divorce and lost my grandmother and still achieved the highest grade in my class for my graded unit at college.

I didn’t stop to be proud, I needed to keep busy, find something else to drive me forward.

June 2014 I graduated from Stirling University with a Postgraduate Diploma with MERIT.  I left school with a Higher in English, and I was tutored the whole year to get me that C.

Since finding out I passed, and then finding out I passed with merit, I have felt proud.

I stopped and took a look back at the last 5 years. Even the last 10 years. I have done more in the last decade than some have done in a lifetime. There is a lot there for me to be proud of.

When was the last time you stopped and looked back?

Start to write down some of your achievements. Once you get started and talk to the people close to you, they will remind you of things.

Keep your list.

I found an awesome book, every day you write a line, a memory, achievement, anything at all for that day. Every year you start again at the beginning.

Over 5 years you can see what happened on that very same date the year before.

I have only just started using it, already I writing things I look forward to remembering over again. You can get a copy on Amazon: One Line A Day, A 5 Year Memory Book << if you click on the blue it will take you to it in Amazon.

Start your list today. What are you proud of? Keep the list. Add to it.

Here’s to a future of achievements and memories

Jen x