Are you cheating?

Why is it when we want to look better we obsess about what we can and can’t eat.

There are a band of people that live for their cheat day just so they can eat or drink whatever they want.

There is little or no focus on WHY it is they are cutting their cheat day food and drink out.

I was reading a blog post the other day about vegetarians and vegetarianism in general, and about how they are so good at sticking to their chosen diet.

Up until about 3 months ago not a single piece of meat has passed my lips since 2005 (I had a notion to try fish, one small bite which took me about half an hour to work up to trying, pointless… still don’t want to eat it).

The question is why is it that vegetarians can stick to their diets so well without wanting to ‘cheat’?

It comes down to their VALUES and personal beliefs. Whether it’s about animal welfare / cruelty, environmental issues, or whatever their reason is, they don’t sway.

The values are set.  It’s their belief and they stick to it. It’s not even up for discussion.

Their diet is not based around trying to lose weight or look better naked.

There is not even any temptation.

Why is it then for so many other people who do want to lose weight and look better in the buff that they feel hard done to by giving up certain food that they know makes them feel like shit?

If you missed my email on how to work out what your values are you can read it again here >>> click on the link>>> http://freedomintraining.co.uk/just-worst-advice-ever-2

Now, I am thinking, if you understand your values, and know WHY you want to look and feel better you won’t feel like you are being hard-done to when you ditch the shit food & drink??

You won’t be relying on willpower to help you resist temptation… There will be no temptation just like for a vegetarian.

The food industry are only interested in 1 thing… Profit. They put food out there with chemicals that they know you will be addicted to so you buy more.

Then they produce the diet version for you to get addicted to while you are trying to lose weight from the other crap that makes you so happy but so unhappy at the same time.

Ever had that reaction to steak and salad? A plate of roast veggies? A bowl of porridge?

No, me neither…

Ever eaten a packet of sweets, got the sugar buzz, then the sicky feeling crash that makes you want more sugar to take the edge of the sugar comedown off?

Yeah, me too…

I know which feeling I prefer and it ain’t the sugar comedown.

Understand and live by your values and use them in all areas of your life.

All of a sudden life gets a whole lot easier.

When you have a dilemma, think about what fits better with your values.

Bingo, decision made.

Just something for you to have a think about if you are struggling with the thought of cutting things out.

It doesn’t need to be about willpower… It can be about your personal values.

For those of you that follow me on any of the social media outlets or through my emails you will know that about 8 weeks ago I started a gluten free vegan plan, at first I missed macaroni cheese, Greek yogurt, chocolate, ice-cream…

Over Christmas I have had bread, chocolate and ice-cream and my body was not happy, spots, eczema, bloating, smelly farts… It’s really not been worth it, so I am back to gluten free vegan.

Sometimes the things that you think are lovely wee treats aren’t what you thought you remembered them.

Jen x

 

 

 

 

 

Love yourself… RANT

You say you want to look better so that you will feel better about yourself, so that you will feel more confident, happier.

You say you want to find love but it seems you don’t even love yourself…

How much are you prioritising yourself?

Do you eat for health?

Do you exercise or do activities that keep you healthy?

Do you have hobbies, interests that entertain you?

Are you learning new things everyday to develop yourself in to an even more amazing person?

If the honest answer to any of these questions is no (and that includes answers of hesitation, sometimes or not really) then you need to get a grip.

We comes back to that term ‘self-sabotage’.

The only person preventing you from being happy is you.

There might be people around you questioning you, doubting your abilities. My question to you would be, why they hell are they still around?

If you don’t love and respect yourself then why would anyone else? You do not need someone to ‘save’ you or entertain you.

The people around you – friends, family, partners should be there to compliment your life not complete it.

Think of people you have moved on from…

How did those relationships start out? What happened? Why did you end up moving away from it?

This is not just boyfriends / husbands / partners, this is friendships too. There was a reason they started and a reason they ended (not always a fall out, sometimes just drifting apart, moving on, a change of chapter in your life).

It’s time for to fall in love with yourself.

Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you to be better and want better.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with…

Make that average BIG, make it AMAZING. Make it that other people want you to be part of their 5.

It’s time to stop bullshitting yourself.

It’s time to take control and make you a priority.

Write a list of the 5 things you are least happy with.

Then write a list of the 5 things you are most happy with.

Using the 5 things you are most happy with, how can you use them to your advantage to change the things you are least happy with?

Write it down.

Make a plan.

Start working on it.

I want to know how you are getting on… So, do it today and let me know.

Jen x

There were nearly tears…

My personal trainer was off on his holidays last week so I had been left homework to do… Which I did (a couple of times).

Yesterday we were testing to see how things are progressing.

Frustrated and angry are how I get when things don’t work like they should. And that is not just with the exercises that’s just overall.

I was pretty close to tears for the whole session…

It was the first time I had done weighted squats in about 7 months.

‘Hold at the bottom for a count of 3’ he said…

‘ok next one go deeper and hold’

I decked it.

My head said ‘nah this is too hard’ and everything switched off.

Get up, go again (this man has no time for my shit).

Next 4 were better. Still not great but better.

I have more homework to do.

If that had been me, in the gym on my own I would have either not squatted deep enough or chucked it after decking it.

Either way I would not get stronger, I would continue to have my reoccurring injuries.

Working on your weaknesses is HARD. I know. Admitting there are weaknesses is hard (if you are getting injuries there will come a point where you need to do something about it or give up).

I go to someone else for help with my fitness.

I go to someone else for help with my head.

I go to someone else for help with my nutrition.

Do I know how to do all of these things on my own? YES, I do and I help many people on a daily basis achieve their goals, clear their heads and get their nutrition sorted.

Why do I go to someone else?

I need that external person to hold me accountable. I need someone who is more experienced and has different knowledge from me. That is how I learn. That is how I succeed. I understand the value of what I offer.

You can read all the books and magazines, listen to podcasts, watch motivational clips on YouTube but if you don’t take action all you are doing is reading the manual.

Who holds you accountable? Who pulls you up when you are telling yourself those wee lies to make yourself feel better? (Remember yesterday’s email?)

There is no shortcut to your destination. There is no magic pill or wand that will make it all go away or be better.

The only thing that will make it happen is you.

You should have set goals by now… If not why the hell not?

Looking at your goals, what is it you will get out of achieving them? Now I am talking emotionally here. Not that you will get to fit in to that size 12 dress you bought 3 years ago promising you would get in to it back then.

How will you feel inside achieving your goal? Happy? Confident? Give you self-belief? Proud?

Once you know WHY it is you want that goal it will make it so much easier to push forward.

For me to be injury free will give me more confidence when I am working with the Master Trainers of the Indoor Cycling Group. I know my weaknesses are holding my back from being REALLY good.

What is your WHY?

Let me know.

Jen x

 

Whopper of a lie…

So, I sat down the other night, typically there was nothing on so flicked through the TiVo to see what had been recorded…

Secret Eaters… I love this show.

People who are overweight and can’t understand why have secret cameras and people spying on them to see what it is they really are eating that is stopping them lose weight.

The usual scenario is they think they are eating 1200 calories when in fact they are necking down not a kick in the arse off 3000 calories.

Quite often too many of the calories are hidden.  I saw one guy who drank 2 litres of coke a day who had swapped it for what he thought was the healthy option of fruit juice… 2 litres of that a day.

Pretty much the same sugar and calorie content in both drinks and it hadn’t even occurred to him that this was all calories.

Best one I saw was a woman who stopped off for a chippy on the way home from the supermarket to make dinner…. Eh?!

I don’t think this was the first time she had done that the way the staff in the chip shop were chatting to her and there had been no mention of it in her food diary she had submitted to the show.

Thing is, the only person she is cheating by doing that is herself.

‘If no one sees me eat it then it doesn’t count’

YES it does count. It’s a lie. A lie to yourself.

The same as, ‘it was only a wee bit of cake’ ‘I only had 3 sausage rolls when I would normally have 5’.

Excuses and lies you tell yourself to forgive yourself…

Why? So that you don’t feel bad in that moment, even though you know you are going to feel bad later and then even worse when you stand on the scales or get the measure tape out.

I ask all my clients to do me a food diary.

Do they do it? Not always. I know when they have had a bad week because they conveniently have forgotten to do it.

Those are the weeks they feel sluggish, moody, their skin has wee breakouts and they feel guilty.

When they do it though, they eat better. They eat more consciously. They feel better. They have more energy.

Plus they know that if they do have a treat or a couple of wines at the end of the week, they have had a good week as an insurance policy.

Brian (my coach I told you about yesterday) has a great point. You can’t try to do anything… You are either doing it or you are not doing it. Try to pick up a pen… you are either picking it up or you are not… there is no in between.

I did throw this back at him one day during PT when he told me he was trying to complete his 50 push ups but kept stopping… Bet he wishes I didn’t pay so much attention to him.

It’s not just about food that we lie to ourselves about. I remember when I went back to uni and stayed in most weekends to study. Reality was I spent about 2hrs of the whole weekend actually studying the rest on Facebook, Twitter, google search buying new stuff…

The biggest thing I lost out on was a social life.

Doing my postgrad I was more tactical. 2hrs offline, no mobile, study. As soon as I had done 2 hours the rest of my time was mine… Worked a treat (I know I keep bragging about it but I am still shocked… I passed with Merit).

When you are not meeting your goals you need to take a step back and look at why. If you set your goal and worked out the plan you should be on your way (that’s why reviewing at least every 4 weeks is ideal).

Where are you going wrong? What lies are you telling yourself? What help do you need to get it on track?

Tell the people around you what you are trying to achieve and ask them for help. If you tell people then you need to hold yourself accountable.

You are responsible for your own actions and your own life.

Don’t be reduced to an hour of fame by getting secret cameras to follow you around and shame you in to getting results.

What is the biggest lie you are telling yourself right now?

Tell me, I want to know & I may be able to help in future emails…

Promise I won’t name and shame you.

Jen

Tom Cruise and Groundhog Day

Tom Cruise and Groundhog Day, or was it Edge of Tomorrow

I don’t go to the cinema often but earlier this year I went to see the new Tom Cruise movie, Edge of Tomorrow. I had no idea what it was going to be about.

In brief without a plot spoiler, basically Tom Cruise is in an army, goes to battle, gets killed, wakes up at the start of the day taking with him the lessons he learned from the last time to get a bit further.

How cool would that be if you could go back and re-live your day to make it right the next time.

Well you can. We obviously don’t wake up from being dead, but we do wake up… every morning.

You get to live your day again. You get to learn from the mistakes of fall downs from yesterday and make today better.

So you had a crappy day and ate a bucket of crap food yesterday.

Today, even if you have a crappy day you can make the decision to not eat the shit food.

That way your day ends better already than the day before.

What made your day shit?

The way someone else treated you?

Just because they are being a dick does not mean you need to take it personally and sabotage your efforts.

Everything going wrong or not the way you want it to? We all have those days, alarm doesn’t go off, can’t find your keys, spill the milk… its just one calamity after another.

Stop for a second.

There is nothing you can do about the alarm not going off now.

If you are meant to be somewhere call/text say you are running late.

Trace your steps back to when you last remember having your keys. Frantic searching rarely works.

Wipe up the milk, take a breath, the world is not going to end if your late or if you spill something.

We don’t need to be in a Hollywood blockbuster to be able to start a fresh every new day.

Sleep is your time to reset. Waking up is your re-start.

This is something that I teach in the 12 week nutrition course.

Having slip ups or events that you want to go to but will take you slightly off track are OK, when you get up tomorrow you get to start again.

One day of eating crap food won’t devastate your plans just the same as eating perfectly for one day one have you at your perfect weight.

If you are sick of living groundhog day and not moving forward towards your goals you can apply to join the next intake of the course .

>>> click on the link >>>  https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/nutrition-programme/

Some of you will be happy to stay in the loop, making excuses and not feeling as good about yourself as you could.

Jen x

 

 

Everything changed when i stopped doing this

So recently you were to identify 10 things that you like about yourself… How did that task go? Did you manage to get more than 10?

Did you feel better about yourself?

It should have made you feel better.

Focusing on what is good instead of what is bad always makes things easier to deal with.

This is the same for all areas of your life.

You don’t like your job? What is it you don’t like?

What is it you do like?

If you can’t think of anything positive then why the hell do you still do it?

Money is not a good enough reason if you are unhappy.

You don’t like your weight / body size?

What bits do you like?

What are you doing to change it?

If you don’t change what you are doing now nothing is going to be different.

If you are doing everything you know how to and you are still not getting results then it is time to get in an expert to help you.

The first thing I do with clients is talk about setting goals and understand why they are setting them, and what they will get out of achieving them.

Taking a step back and looking at everything from a different perspective helps you get clarity.

Sometimes you get soooo busy that you feel like to are on a treadmill, going nowhere, and there is no stop button. You can’t think clearly in this situation.

Jump off the treadmill. STOP. Breathe. The world WILL NOT fall apart if you take 5 minutes to breathe and get your shit together.

If anything when you do, your world will fall together even better than you expected.

Jen x

Embrace the change

So last week I talked to you about being stuck in a rut and challenged you to start making some small changes. Acknowledging people and keeping your phone in your bag or pocket…

 

How is that going for you? Did you just do 1 day or did you keep it going?

 

It’s surprisingly nice when people respond.

 

Time to take this up a level. Every day you change things, your clothes, your shoes, what you eat, your mind (and if you are anything like me you will change your mind A LOT)…

 

Next challenge I want YOU to start to be more carefree, more spontaneous and more open to new things.

 

I was a self-confessed control freak about EVERYTHING.

 

Some things I still am, but it’s a work in progress.  What I want YOU to do is say YES to more invitations. Drop some of the control. Have more FUN.

 

When the ‘what if’ is in your head, ask yourself ‘will it REALLY matter if I go and have fun with my friends for a couple of hours today and I don’t answer those work emails on any evening / Saturday / Sunday afternoon?’

 

It’s nice that you are passionate and driven about your work, but you need to have time off to have FUN, put on your dancing shoes, let your hair down or just chill the fuck out.

 

I made myself ill last year not taking time off and living in constant stress, being ill made it even worse because the Dr’s couldn’t work out what was wrong with me.

 

Every test was coming back clear (thankfully) but believe me, it scared the shit out of me being sent to the hospital for tests for lymphoma.

 

Nothing makes you sit up and listen like a cancer scare.

 

My prescription from the consultant…

 

Take time off and have fun.

 

I really don’t want that to happen to you.

 

Control for me is out of fear of the unknown.

 

Now I am starting to get a kick out of the unknown.

 

I have given up 2 businesses with the support of being in business with my friend to going it alone on a path that I am not sure exactly where it is taking me – but I have some insanely exciting ideas.

 

Letting go is scary as hell, but just think of what things could be better in your life if you just let go (even a wee bit).

 

So this week YOU are saying YES to invitations.

 

And if you are not getting invited anywhere do the inviting.

 

Look for opportunities to try new things, talk to new people, start eating better, get signed up for those personal training sessions you have been promising yourself ‘once you have more time’ even change your route to work.

 

It’s human instinct to make life as familiar and routine as possible but let’s face it, familiar is getting boring, and you are not getting anywhere.

 

Life should be enjoyed and a bit of change can make it way more exciting and interesting.

 

Say YES to more this week and let me know what new things you have been up to, tweet me @freedom_trainin .

Jen x

If you would like these kicks up the arse delivered straight to your inbox you can sign up here >> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

 

Is having a flat tummy really going to make you happy?

Schopenhauer the philosopher said ‘to neglect one’s body for any other advantage in life is the greatest of follies’I am not going to lie, I had to Google follies (to save you it means ‘lack of good sense’)

One of my clients recently announced that she was just going to get liposuction because it was easier than doing the exercise and eating thing, she doesn’t think that having a flat tummy is going to make her happy anyway so she might as well focus on the things in her life that make her happy and forget about the stuff that makes her unhappy…

She stayed in class and then worked her ass on in PT while telling me that when she is away travelling she will be doing exercises every day to keep her ass in shape and make sure she doesn’t put on loads of weight while she is away travelling for 3 months.

I am pretty sure the liposuction is just chat.

Getting back to Schopenhauer, you only have one body to live in and its with you for life.

You make sure that you MOT the car, gets a service regularly, keep the oil & filters clean, you pay a lot of money to look after a car that you only keep for a few years.

So why then are you are happy to ignore and abuse your body which is for life?

I am guessing there is something you might not happy with; your of lack energy, what you see in the mirror, how you fit in to your clothes, how your bits wobble when you walk (never mind run), how out of breath you get going up stairs, you used to look good then you found your love for the vino…

You want to be buzzing with energy, look great in those clothes as you take the stairs 2 at a time (that might be pushing it a bit)… Hell YOU want to look and feel good naked!

I am not suggesting that you aim for a fitness model physique (unless it’s a goal), but you do want the confidence, pride, smile when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Finding the balance between living a life where you can eat out, have a drink and look awesome is not as hard as you think it might be.

There will be sacrifices made, lifestyle changes have to happen.

It’s your current lifestyle that is making you not like what you see just now.

It’s robbing you of that confidence.

It’s holding you back.

It’s time to make a change and find Freedom in Training.
Jen x

If you would like more straight talking wisdom delivered direct to your inbox you can sign up here >>> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

 

 

Look at yourself like you are a stranger

I love to spend the day as a tourist.

Recently I went on the hop on hop off tourist bus.

It’s amazing the things you don’t notice when you are going about your everyday life.

Looking at the city from different perspective really lets you see the beauty, culture and diversity that we have here…

How many times do you look at yourself from a different perspective?

Have you ever caught sight of yourself in a reflection or photograph that maybe you weren’t expecting to see and though wow, look at her, she looks amazing, then realised you were looking at yourself?

How did that make you feel?

It makes a change from when you look at yourself and think your roots need done, you’re looking a bit bloated, wrinkles are starting to show, you wished you had bigger/smaller boobs/ass/thighs.

Why is it easier to look and identify the flaws when that makes us feel like shit?

Why not look for the good? Identify the bits you like, and feel better about yourself straight away.

I want you to have a look in the mirror. Write down 5 things that you like about yourself today. Put it somewhere that you will see it for the rest of the day.

Then, tonight I want you to do the same again but another 5 things that are different. It doesn’t need to be all physical things, it can be about who you are as a person.

If you are reading this at night then do 5 tonight and 5 in the morning.

A brilliant video about how we see ourselves >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Watch it, it is so powerful, one of the girls at the end nails it

‘we spend too much time trying to fix the things that aren’t quite right, instead we should spend more time appreciating the things we do like’

Let me know how you feel tomorrow

Jen x

If you want more about how to love yourself more sign up here>>> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

 

Your sexy, but maybe don’t know it

If you asked me if I thought I was sexy, or could explain what that felt like, I would be clueless.  Most women would probably tell you the same thing.

Are you sexy?

I came across a podcast that defined traits that every woman should have that will make her sexy… Good news girls, it’s not botox, fake boobs and shorts that your arse hangs out the back of.

Being sexy is not about how you look, it’s all about your character, what’s inside, what you have going on and in line with your values and how you portray yourself.

The 10 traits that were mentioned on the podcast are:

  1. Independence – being able to financially support yourself, let a man buy you a gift if he wants, just don’t be needy and relying on him to pay for everything for you. Have your job / career / business and make it work for you so you can buy what you want when you want without permission. At the same time he needs to be financially independent too, NEVER fund someone else. And don’t be stuck in a relationship or situation because of finances.
  2. Get your shit together – Being financially independent, living your passion, have hobbies and a purpose outside of your career and outside of any relationship. You need to have a life of your own. There is nothing worse than waiting around for a man to make your life more interesting. This goes for guys too, running around after someone else like a needy puppy is not an attractive trait to have.
  3. Not needing to be in a relationship – Life is for living, not waiting for someone else. Don’t hold on to the past where you might have been hurt in another relationship. But don’t fill a gap with a boy just for the sake of having someone there. If you are constantly going out and only looking for love or attention from the opposite (or same sex if that’s your thing) it can come across as desperate & needy. Don’t make it a priority to who you are. Relationship should complement your life not complete it. Wait for the right person. In a relationship you should not be dependent on the other person (Cause you have your shit together)
  4. Kick deadlines to the kirb – Your biological clock is NOT ticking… being over 30 is not old. When did you genuinely start living?? Your 20’s were fun, but let’s face it your done with that. Your 30’s is about finding the real you and living life. Work on yourself first, get hobbies, interests outside of work and life a FULL and interesting life.
  5. Stay classy – how you dress, how you act, how you handle yourself on a night out… our teenage years were for falling about drunk. No one wants to hang about with that person that can’t handle their drink / themselves. Dress for your age and body shape, look in the mirror, and ask a friend that you know will be honest. Have high standards for yourself and expect nothing less from anyone else in your life.
  6. Stop seeking attention – Whether it’s your social media feed or how you act in public, attention seekers come across as desperate. Measure your self-worth on personal success and the people you have around you.
  7. Be nurturing – be caring, loving, loyal. Be compassionate but stand up for yourself with confidence. When you are stressed it’s easy to be bitchy and irrational. Smile more (genuine smiles though, forced ones just look creepy).
  8. Don’t play games – if a man likes you he will like you for you… if you want to call or text the next day do it… there are no rules. If he is interested he will respond. If he’s not he won’t so don’t bother following up your message if there is no response. Move on (stay classy). If you want someone to be straight up with you then you need to be the same. Give out what you want back. If you feel like you need to play a game to keep someone in your life they are not worth having there.
  9. Stay open minded – Across all areas of your life, be open to trying new things. If you are in a relationship this includes in the bedroom, get creative, keep things interesting for both of you, no one wants to be bored. You want to rock you man’s world like no 20yr old would ever know how to. Be confident and get what you want too.
  10. Know what you want – in life, for dinner, how you decorate your home. Know what you want and learn how to express it in a confident non-confrontational way. No one is a mind reader, so you need to speak up. Say with confidence, be decisive. Let someone know if they do something that pisses you off OR makes you happy.

How many of these would you say you are comfortable with? More that you thought? None of them are that challenging.

We are strong independent ladies with our shit together.

Good news ladies, your sexy and you know it…. And if you are not quite there yet you have a short list to work on.

Go be sexy

Jen x

And if you would like more inspiration to being confident and sexy in your inbox each day you can sign up here>>> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/