Set It On Fire

Yesterday I mentioned about doing things on your own and how it can challenge you and build character… I also mentioned that it can bring some of your self-doubt crap up, the things that make you question ‘are you good enough?’

What I want you to try today is start getting rid of that crap.

Write it down, empty your head, all those negative thoughts, the doubts, your worries…

Then you are going to burn that bit of paper (in a safe place of course, please don’t have any house or office fires – we have all seen that Valentines episode of Friends) OR put it through the shredder.

Whatever you do, destroy that bit of paper, it’s one, it’s over, it’s rubbish.

Then I want you to write a list of all the things you have achieved, challenges you have overcome, things you have done that you never thought you could…

This list is one you keep.

AND,

Keep adding to…

This is your reminder of what you can do when you put your mind to it.

I will leave it up to you if you want to add to it Things To Do, these are your goals, dreams things you want to achieve. I like to have these so I can tick them off and add them to the achieved list.

I will also let you decide where and how you do this, mine is on a spreadsheet and also on a whiteboard.

Have a heads up Tuesday, do great things

Jen x

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Wrong side of the bed?

When you wake up what is the first thought that crosses your mind?

‘oh no, here we go again’

‘what’s the weather like?’

‘yus, new day, can’t wait’

The first thoughts that go through your head are usually going to set your mood for the rest of the day.

I am lucky that when I get up 4 out of my 7 days it’s to go and teach my indoor cycling (spin) class and I have 16-20 maddies that all get up to join me for their morning class.

At that time in the morning I have been called the devil, smiling assassin and I can hear the swearing under their breath, but they get up for it, and I love delivering the class.

My point is though, when you wake up you want to be thinking about something that make you happy to put a smile on your wee face and have you looking forward to the day.

Sometimes your dreams will have an impact on how you feel when you first wake, if you are sad or distressed it is important to find a way to change that mood as quickly as possible. I find talking to people about them trying to work out the meaning helps because often the dreams don’t mean the literal sense they are delivered in.

If you can’t find anything to look forward to other than getting home to get back to bed I would seriously advise a career change or join Warrior Woman Project to get some direction and perspective (http://www.meetup.com/Warrior-Woman-Project-Weekly-Meet-Up/ ).

I talked to you about keeping a gratitude diary, 3 things every night before you go to sleep that were good that day. Finish the day on a positive note.

How is that going? Are you still keeping it up? Have you noticed any difference in your day? We were talking about looking for positives and proud moments in your day at Warrior Woman the other day and Sheila has noticed a positive difference about how she feels each day.

I find myself taking note of things through the day and actually looking for them so I can add them to my list at the end of the day, the same with my 1 new thing every day, getting a break from your daily routine shows you how much you actually do in a day so you don’t drift through life in that haze.

I am a pretty positive person anyway (to the point that I think some people get annoyed with my happiness and positivity but they can kiss my ass), but finding the good in things just makes the day go better.  Just for the record, not every day is a happy day, bad shit does happen, the difference is the bounce back and refusal to wallow in gloom.

When the day goes better I feel you less stressed. That is a GOOD thing not just for your mood, but for the people around you, for your waist line and for your sleep.

Have a happy day

Jen x

 

 

 

Shine a different light

Over the summer I was at a course at Strathclyde Uni, called writing for wellness.

It was about how to write through traumatic events in your life, which has been scientifically proven to be beneficial in getting through the aftermath of the event.

Because it was a one day course it wasn’t about digging in to our deepest worries and fears but to introduce us to different techniques that don’t make problems disappear but help change your perspective of them.

One that I found to benefit me the most in the quickest time (and is pretty easy to do) is the gratitude journal.

If you are an Oprah lover like me then you will already know all about gratitude journals.

Every night before you go to bed write down 3 things you are grateful for from that day and why.

‘I am grateful for _________ because _________’

Some days this might be really hard if you have had a shit day and you might just have been grateful for a cup of tea. Other days you are going to have more than 3.

The more you do this, the more you start to look for things through the day that you are grateful  for then before you know it your head is in a much more positive place.

I get my Warrior Women to write down every day something they are proud of themselves for, this makes them think more about themselves and the things that they achieve on a day to day basis that they maybe didn’t give themselves credit for.

The good news from the feedback is it is working, they are looking for those positive things, they see the way they handle the shit that gets thrown at them on a daily basis. They are recognising how they are growing, where maybe they used to comfort eat, they are now dealing with the crap and feeling better about it.

It’s not easy, we find it hard to praise ourselves, it’s so much easier to beat ourselves up and believe that we can’t cope and live in that cycle of destruction. It’s not a happy place, but it’s easier, or at least that’s what we convince ourselves.

I set you this challenge, 3 things you are grateful for every day and 1 thing you are proud of, notice your mood and how much better things seem when you start to shine a different light on them.

Look out for those things that put a wee smile on your face

Jen x

 

It is not the strongest of the species that survives

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. (Charles Darwin)

I speak a lot about setting goals, making plans, creating opportunities to make your life better.

How is that all going for you?

Have you sat and agreed with things I have said, thought, ‘yeah I must set some goals and create a plan’ but haven’t gotten round to it yet?

As humans we are conditioned to be happy with familiarity. Knowing what is going to happen, unpredictable is where most of us are content to settle.

How do you cope when things change?

I was having a moan early in the summer to my flatmate about the Commonwealth Games coming to Glasgow and about how it was going to be a pain in the arse with roads through the city being closed.

The thing that bothered me most is its going to be different, I was going to have to find different ways to get to my classes and I couldn’t predict how that is going to happen.

For 2 weeks the city was going to be unpredictable & busy.

Flipping the negative way of thinking, it’s going to be exciting… the city is going to be unpredictable and busy.

Turned out that the roads were quiet and there were no traffic problems at all, the city centre was buzzing with atmosphere and a great place to hang out for the 2 weeks… It’s mid-November now and I still miss it.

How often do you hear that there is going to be a change and the first thing you think is negative?

‘that’s not going to work’ ‘people won’t like that’

I was working in one of the colleges as they were going through a merger, it was a very negative environment to be in. At the end of the day the changes were happening, there was nothing any amount of hissy fitting or moaning would make a difference.

As Darwin says, adapting to change is how we survive.

Being more positive about the change will make your life less stressful.

Being less stressed will make you happier, help you make better choices, help you sleep better and keep your skin looking fresher and younger.

Embrace the change.

If you are making change for yourself, it will be to make your life better. If the change is out of your control, control what you can, and that is you and only you.

Have a good weekend

Jen x