What Do You Dream About?

Half way through this month of gratitude and self-care. Day 15 Write your dreams.

This is slightly different from writing you goals, this is because you need to know your dreams before you write your goals.

Writing and admitting your dreams is the hard part, once you know what your dreams are you can then set your goals and action plan.

If you have written your fears back in day 9 then this will be easier. You will have already started realising and overcoming some of the things that hold you back.

Sometimes we are scared to say our dreams out loud, partly because there will always be people who tell us we can’t and that it’s impossible and the other part is there are people who believe in you and will expect you to go and make it happen.

It is easier to tell the first lot of people who will just validate your fears… Be bold and tell the second lot, find people that will motivate you and push you to achieve and believe in yourself. You can always do a lot more than you ever thought you could.

Do you want to write a book?

Do you want to change career?

Give up work and go travelling for a year?

Do you want to find a boy, get married and have kids?

Do you want to be on a mission to space?

Think big, and write them down, even if you feel silly…

Then, go to day 9 when you wrote down your fears. Look at where your fears are holding you back from your dreams. What can you do to overcome those fears to be a step closer to your dreams?

Its nuts how much closer you could get if you just dropped the fear. Dream big, work round the fears and talk to the right people. Don’t let people tell you that you have a head full of broken biscuits or that your head is in the clouds… Someone has to make a change, why can it not be you?

The ceiling is glass, smash through it…

Happy humpday dreamers

Jen x

Day 1 – Self-love letter, Day 2 – Meditate, Day 3 – Create a ritual, Day 4 – Take a bath, Day 5 – Eat mindfully, Day 6 – Go barefoot, Day 7 – Tech-tox, Day 8 Delegate, Day 9 Write your fears, Day 10 schedule your day, Day 11 Gaze at the stars, Day 12 Start Journaling, Day 13 de-clutter, Day 14 Buy yourself blooms

 

6 down 6 to go

In the blink of an eye, that is us at the end of June…

Have a think about the first half of your year… how has that gone for you?

Think back to your New Year resolutions if you made any… How many have you ticked off? How many are you working your way towards? How many have you completely ignored and are pretending that you don’t really want that change now?

I had one on my list that I don’t even know where it came from, it had never been a dream or aspiration before… I was just sitting looking at my list one day and I wrote it down… I want to write a book.

When I wrote it down I did think, yeah, maybe one day, won’t be this year, might not even be this decade…

But, the universe had other ideas.

I am writing a book AND it’s getting published… Yip, you heard it right, it is happening.

Having the right conversations with the right people at the right time has propelled this forward to happening this year with date of publish to be next year… My first draft is due in at the end of August.

Excited is not even close, I am also shitting myself but it will all be good. Practicing this vulnerability stuff, putting my words out there for people to see and have an opinion on.

The first step in getting anything done is saying it out loud, telling people, but making sure that you tell the right people.

There will always be people in your world who will be delighted and will help you make things happen and there will be people who will question you and make you feel stupid for even thinking that you could ever…

Don’t tell those people who will aid your self-sabotage – you can do that crap on your own… Tell the people who will believe in you, support you and potentially be able to help you make it happen.

Choose your people wisely.

Happy Tuesday

Jen x

PS If you know anyone who would benefit from these emails or from Warrior Woman Project please send them over to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up

 

Set It On Fire

Yesterday I mentioned about doing things on your own and how it can challenge you and build character… I also mentioned that it can bring some of your self-doubt crap up, the things that make you question ‘are you good enough?’

What I want you to try today is start getting rid of that crap.

Write it down, empty your head, all those negative thoughts, the doubts, your worries…

Then you are going to burn that bit of paper (in a safe place of course, please don’t have any house or office fires – we have all seen that Valentines episode of Friends) OR put it through the shredder.

Whatever you do, destroy that bit of paper, it’s one, it’s over, it’s rubbish.

Then I want you to write a list of all the things you have achieved, challenges you have overcome, things you have done that you never thought you could…

This list is one you keep.

AND,

Keep adding to…

This is your reminder of what you can do when you put your mind to it.

I will leave it up to you if you want to add to it Things To Do, these are your goals, dreams things you want to achieve. I like to have these so I can tick them off and add them to the achieved list.

I will also let you decide where and how you do this, mine is on a spreadsheet and also on a whiteboard.

Have a heads up Tuesday, do great things

Jen x

PS If you know someone who would benefit from these emails please send them to www.freedomintraining.co.uk to sign up

It’s hard to swallow

One thing us women seem to be masters at in this world is emotional eating… Whether you are overweight or not as soon as the conversation comes up there is a huge show of hands… Yip, I emotional eat, bored, lonely, sad, angry, stressed, happy, confused…

So why does it happen to us?

There is usually a lack of control or power over a situation so instead we fill the gap with food (or alcohol, work or exercise).

Ask yourself – what in your life is it that you cannot control of have power over in your life that you control instead with food?

This is not restricted just to emotional eating, it could also be, binge eating, starvation, over controlled dieting (highly restrictive) etc

Once you become aware of where that lack of power or control is it helps you understand why you emotional eat

Then you can start to address the questions about your life:

When did this food problem start?

What was going on in your life that could have triggered it?

How were you before that?

What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t have X problem?

Does having the problem mean that people give you attention, so you have significance?

When your problem goes away what do you not get anymore?

What gap is being filled by having this problem?

What do you fill the gap with? food, alcohol, work, exercise?

Now for a Friday these questions are big time thought provoking… but you have a whole weekend to work on them and work out what is going on in that pretty little head of yours.

Let’s try to have a weekend of dealing with our shit rather than eating it back down.

Jen x

 

 

 

Time is ticking

Don’t wait for the holidays

It is great to have things to look forward to, holidays, nights out, time with family or friends.

How often do you sit at work thinking it’s nearly the weekend / long weekend / weeks holiday?

What about the rest of the time?

What are you doing while you are waiting?

What stops you from doing more exciting or interesting things every day?

Sometimes you have to do shit boring things, that’s life, very few people enjoy housework and those that do should make it their career.

What if you started to change the way you looked at the boring things and see them as something that gets you to the next point. I do housework so I have a clean house to sit in and clean clothes to wear every day. I sit at my computer for hours a couple of days a week so that I can get my message out to you guys.

Changing the way you think about your day helps you get through it better. If changing your thoughts doesn’t help then there are other things to consider…

Do you find that you are exhausted by the end of your working day? Have you considered looking at your nutrition? Are you eating enough? Are you eating the right kinds of foods to nourish your body? Soul food is called soul food because it makes you feel good inside.

Have you considered shortening your working day (if at all possible) I know that so many of us work all day from 7am (or earlier) till 9pm (or later) and don’t always if at all take a lunch break. Is that you? Do you need to start looking at how to restructure your day? Do you need to be stricter with your time and not let other people take over your life and schedule?

Make the most of what you have. Enjoy it, be happy, if you hate it don’t do it. Live for each day, each moment.

Find a job you love, fill your life with people you love, do things that make you happy.

Don’t waste a minute. Life is too short not to live and love it. No regrets, no wishing you had made more time for your family and friends. No one ever got to their death bed and said they were glad they stayed in the office that extra hour… Just saying…

Jen x

 

Do you live for the weekend?

Do you live for the weekend?

All through Facebook, Instagram & Twitter you see posts TGIF, can’t wait for the weekend, this has been such a long week, counting down the days.

Then on Sunday, it’s all, oh no its Monday tomorrow already, back to work tomorrow with sad faces.

I used to be one of those people, at the start of the year planning my holidays in for the year, spaced out to perfection to maximise the bank holiday weekends. Then the countdown was on.

I used to have a Monday to Saturday 9 – 530 office type job that I quickly grew to feel suffocated in.

Actually I had a few, there were times that I loved but I quickly got bored and I could never understand why, if I had finished all my work did I still need to sit there and fill time just to work the contracted hours. I worked in the travel industry for about 15 years, in travel agents, selling foreign currency, doing admin, and in a call centre doing customer services for airlines.

I did get to live abroad for a couple of years in my travel career which was amazing and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but I was still in an office, still working to hours that someone else dictated to me.

I also got to learn a lot about places in the world that made me want to go and visit them (which I did), I have always been a gypsy at heart, and don’t like to feel trapped or stuck.

In 2002 I went to live in Greece, I finally came back to the UK for good in l 2009. I had travelled around Europe, South East Asia, China, Mongolia, Russia, and lived in Australia for 3 years too.

When I decided to come home I decided it was time to have a career change. The thought of being cooped up in an office again made me want to cry.

I had fallen in love with the gym, doing exercise and being fit and healthy, it made me feel free and inspired and it was all I wanted to know about. Day and night I was reading and learning about health and fitness.

I went back to college as a mature student and had to work pretty much full time hours around that while I retrained. I was 6am to 10pm Monday to Friday, worked Saturday mornings too then Saturday afternoons and Sundays doing my studying.

My days were like that until May 2014.

When you want something badly enough you make the sacrifices you need to get you where you want to be.

Now I have more time to myself I actually don’t feel like I ever do any actual work, everything I do I love, whether its writing these emails or my blog posts, training clients, teaching classes, learning, talking, I just never feel that dread of having to get up.

I LOVE what I do. When I talk to people about what I am doing or what I am learning I can feel the smile on my face. I get excited about what I am talking about.

I can hear myself being a total geek and I am so happy when I can tell people things that will help them improve, whether it’s about confidence, getting a plan to achieving their goals, eating better, performing better in class or changing their body shape.

I believe that we are all here to do what makes us happy. How happy are you with where you are in your life? Do you get to do what you love every day?

If you are one of those people living for their holidays and the weekend, have a think about these questions.

What is it that you love to do?

What is it that you can talk about for hours and hours and never get bored of?

Do you get to fill your days doing that?

Are you counting the days till your next holiday or the end of your shift?

If you could do anything at all, all day, every day what would it be?

Is there a way you can start getting more of that in your life?

If you knew that you would be happy 99% of the mornings you were getting up for work, would you take a risk and make the change?

What can you do today to put more (even if it’s only for a really short time) happiness in your day?

The thing you need to understand about  the Law of Attraction and The Secret purely is that yes, you need to put it out there what it is you want, but you also need to take some action. You need to create your own miracles.

You need the thoughts, then, you need to take action. I don’t believe for one second that Oprah just sits in her living room thinking about what she wants. She is an action taker. She has pushed her whole career for amazing things.

Oprah is a big believer in Law of Attraction and The Secret and believes in her ‘God’ whoever he is to her.

If you need to believe in something external to help push you forward, then that is what you do. Whatever your external belief is will help you.

Believe in it, work hard, take risks, find your passion and take the leap of faith.

Life is too short to be living life waiting for the weekend / holidays / to retire so you can do what you love to do.

Do it now.

Jen x

 

Do you find it difficult?

Why is it when we want to look better we obsess about what we can and can’t eat. What we should be doing, what we shouldn’t be doing. What the person we follow on instagram eats and how they look.

There are a band of people that live for their cheat day just so they can eat or drink whatever they want. And when they do, they go to town on a serious binge. In my opinion this is no way to live and isn’t healthy.

I was reading a blog post the other day about vegetarians and vegetarianism in general, and about how they are so good at sticking to their chosen diet. I am not about to tell you that you need to be vegetarian or vegan, I know plenty of them that don’t eat healthily either.

Up until about 3 months ago not a single piece of meat had passed my lips since 2005 (I had a notion to try fish, one small bite which took me about half an hour to work up to trying, pointless… still don’t want to eat it).

The question is why is it that vegetarians and vegans can stick to their diets so well without wanting to ‘cheat’?

It comes down to their VALUES and personal beliefs. Whether it’s about animal welfare / cruelty, environmental issues, health or whatever their reason is, they don’t sway.

The values are set.  It’s their belief and they stick to it. It’s not even up for discussion.

For many of them their diet is not based around trying to lose weight or look better naked. Anyone who has tried being veggie to lose weight will have discovered pretty quickly that it doesn’t work for them.

For someone who chooses to be veggie, there is not even any temptation, and most of us don’t even think about it, it’s just our way of life.

Why is it then, for so many other people who do want to lose weight and look better naked that they feel hard done by, giving up certain food that they know makes them feel like shit?

From a young age many of us have been rewarded with food – to keep quiet, to behave, to do homework / chores etc. If you are good you will get cake / crisps / sweets etc. That is the value we have then given to food, so when we take it away it feels like a punishment.

Now, I am thinking, if you understand your values, and know WHY you want to look and feel better you won’t feel like you are being hard-done to when you ditch the shit food & drink??

You won’t be relying on willpower to help you resist temptation… There will be no temptation just like for a vegetarian.

Take the time to think about what it is you actually want and what you will get from achieving this particular goal… Will you feel more confident? Happy? Sexy? In control? Or significant? Whatever it is that you really want from achieving the goal is going to help you feel better about the journey.

The food industry are only interested in 1 thing… Profit. They put food out there with chemicals that they know you will be addicted to so you buy more.

Then they produce the diet version for you to get addicted to while you are trying to lose weight from the other crap that makes you so happy but so unhappy at the same time.

Ever eaten a packet of sweets, got the sugar buzz, then the sicky feeling crash that makes you want more sugar to take the edge of the sugar comedown off?

Yeah, me too…

I know which feeling I prefer and it ain’t the sugar comedown.

Ever had that reaction to steak and salad? A plate of roast veggies? A bowl of porridge?

No, me neither…

They also run advertising campaigns that trigger emotions if you eat or drink their product – chocolate = relaxed, coke = fun, haribo = like a kid etc.

Understand and live by your values and reasons why and use them in all areas of your life. All of a sudden life gets a whole lot easier. When you have a dilemma, think about what fits better with your values. Bingo, decision made.

Just something for you to have a think about if you are struggling with the thought of cutting things out.

It doesn’t need to be about willpower (which, like a muscle needs to be worked on)… To help you strengthen your willpower muscle make it about your personal values and see how much more successful you are.

Jen x

 

Every day is a school day

I do love learning but sometimes when I don’t understand I just want to chuck it.

That sentence really contradicts itself I know, but let me explain and you might understand.

You hear a language you don’t understand and it’s just noise so you tend to switch off from it.

Even sometimes when you know the words are in English but they are totally new to you it sounds the same.

I remember being in physiology at uni and learning about the nervous system. The lecturer could have been speaking Japanese to me and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

It was kind of the same when I went back to try to learn Spanish. I was quite happy when we were going through words and phrases that I know.

As soon as its new vocabulary my brain takes what feels like ages to even get the pronunciation right.

I get a bit of a panic going on in my head and feel like I am back in primary one sounding out words over and over to myself trying to get it right.

I was the same when I was practicing my swimming, there is so much to think about… make sure you breathe out fully before trying to breathe in, arms moving one way, legs moving another, stay relaxed…

At the end of the day it’s all about practice.

It’s how you learn.

It’s not just with learning new languages, but skills, crafts, exercises, games…

At school I was not good at sports, always the last one picked, the last one in the race – that was back in the day when winning mattered, you didn’t get a medal for showing up. It was bronze, silver and gold. I’m pretty sure that my mum told me it was the taking part that counted and as long as you tried you best.

At the time it did matter to me that I wasn’t good at sports so I did my best to avoid it as much as possible. Kind of like the learning thing. It’s too hard so I can’t do it.

Now it’s different, I still don’t do sports that can be won or lost, I’m not motivated in a competitive environment.

The only person that I compete with is myself, to be better today than I was yesterday. As long as you do your best and give it your all, no one can ask for any more – good advice mum!

Some people are highly motivated and competitive which is fine as long as (in my opinion) you are as good a winner as you are a loser.

Take the wins humbly, take the losses as lessons of where to improve next time.

I saw a great quote yesterday ‘your largest fear carries your greatest growth’.

Feel the fear and do it anyway (awesome book). Fear of change, mistakes, embarrassment, failure, whatever the fear is, once you face it and realise that it’s not that bad (your head can make some mental shit up) that is where you learn and grow. Anything else is just revision – like me in my Spanish class.

Today, I challenge you.

Think about your dreams and life goals.

What scares you the most about them?

What small first step can you take in the direction of them?

When are you going to take that step?

Make a plan of the first few steps to get momentum going then take them.

I would love to hear what you do…

Jen x

Who motivates you?

How has your week gone so far?

Are you on top of your goals?

Following the right path?

Making the right decisions?

Some?

Whatever has been happening, today is a new day. What happened yesterday is done, the past, you can’t change what you did, said, ate or drank.

The past is gone. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t define you and it has no effect on your future. Unless you let it

If you have not been doing the best for your health (eating and activity), today you change that.

You start right now. Have a healthy breakfast (if you are reading this before you get up) if you have already had breakfast whatever your next meal is, make it healthy and delicious.

If you decided to have a few drinks on a school night (shame on you…It’s only Tuesday lol), drink lots of water, take a multivitamin and eat lots of veg and protein to get over it and avoid the carb craving binge.

If you have stopped pushing towards your goal, taken your foot off the pedal or filled your head with excuses. Quit that now, get your head out your arse, make a list of what needs done and get working on it.

Your happiness is your responsibility, we all do it, we get scared of failure of the things that we don’t have total control over.

You know what’s worse than failure?

Nothing changing and everything staying the same.

To get a change, you need to make a change. Ask for help. Get some coaching, seek out the best help you can afford (http://freedomintraining.co.uk/warrior-woman-project/).

Seek out the person who speaks your language, and understands where you are and how to motivate you.

What can you do right now that will make a positive impact on your life?

Think about it and by the end of the day take action on it.

Have an awesome Tuesday

Jen x

 

All it takes is a little bit of fear

What is it you are afraid of?

What is it that stops you from achieving your goals?

Usually there are 3 main things that hold us back:

1 fear of failure

2 no time

3 lack of self-belief

Fear of failure – We all fail at things all the time. It’s how we learn. The challenge is when we thing we REALLY want something (or think that we do) there is that little voice in your head that says ‘what if you fuck it up?’ ‘what if people see you fail?’ ’what will people say/think?’

SO WHAT?? If you don’t make an attempt, you will never know. Maybe what you think you want isn’t for you and when you start working towards it you realise it’s not all it cracked up to be.

I always wanted to teach Body Pump, I went on the course, got out in front of classes to practice, sent in my DVD and failed (I struggle to hear the beat in the music and failed on that).

I tried again half-heartedly (and failed again). I knew I wasn’t very good and in actual fact what I had dreamed it to be the reality didn’t match.

I tried, I failed and moved on to do other things that I love and am gradually becoming more successful at.

No time – really?? You really have no time? How much of your day do you spend on social media? Watching TV? When you want something badly enough you make the time for it. Use a diary or online calendar, schedule your whole day from wake up to bed time and stick to it.

Get organised, use your time productively. Use your commute to work to learn, read, listen to podcasts, make lists, start your plan.

Take social media apps OFF your phone and use an app like Cold Turkey to block specific websites during specific hours of the day.

If you have nights out that write you off the next day, are they actually worth it? One thing I hated when I used to drink was how long it took me to recover, I hated that I lost a whole day feeling bad and sorry for myself and even the day after I wasn’t up to much. For me, my goals and dreams were more important than losing 2 days of my week to a night out that I couldn’t properly remember.

Lack of self-belief – We all have that, one thing I get my Warrior Women (http://freedomintraining.co.uk/warrior-woman-project/) to do is write one thing they are proud of every day. They have quickly built a list of things up that they now realise they do, when before they hadn’t even thought about what they did, they just did it and took for granted their skills.

You have to try things to work out where your strengths and weaknesses are. When you find your weakness, work out a way to use your strengths to improve that weakness. When we work on the weaknesses we strengthen everything, when we only work on our strengths we get stuck.

There will be many times that we doubt ourselves, we need to remember all those times before when we doubted and succeeded – that’s why keeping a journal of things you are proud of is so useful. All those little things make big things.

It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it (and reading Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway will give you a wee boost too)

Jen x