Monday Connection

It’s Monday again, this morning I am in London for 2 days of Master Trainer Training… I get to spend the next 2 days learning from more amazing people about delivering indoor cycling product courses.

I love these training days not just because I get to go on long train journeys, stay in hotels, have Epsom salts baths and have someone else cook for me but I get to learn and not just about the products and what it is we deliver when we go out in to gyms.

I get to be with people from different countries, see how others teach, see how they deliver and get to upskill my own communication skills. I need to think about how I speak, the speed I talk at (which can be pretty fast) and the different ways that we communicate with each other.

It’s not just about the words we use, it’s our body language, facial expressions, and tone.

How people connect and communicate fascinates me and I seem to be coming across more and more people that want real life connection rather than just texts and social media. These do have their uses for fast communication and making arrangements. But nothing beats real face to face time.

That is why most of the woman who signed up to the Warrior Woman Project took the option to have a couple of one to one sessions with me.

Having the weekly tasks delivered to their inbox means they can work on it in their own time but having those one to one sessions’ means that they can talk through things to get their thoughts and ideas clear in their head along with being held more accountable. They WILL take action.

When we live in a world that seems to be stuck behind a keyboard it’s good to get real words with real people. You can hear and feel their tone and mood which can totally get lost when you are reading it on screen…

Ever read a message and thought that someone was being really rude or short with you and when you spoke to them it was the complete opposite?

Take some time to have some real conversations and connect with people

Happy Monday

Jen x

 

Time is ticking

Don’t wait for the holidays

It is great to have things to look forward to, holidays, nights out, time with family or friends.

How often do you sit at work thinking it’s nearly the weekend / long weekend / weeks holiday?

What about the rest of the time?

What are you doing while you are waiting?

What stops you from doing more exciting or interesting things every day?

Sometimes you have to do shit boring things, that’s life, very few people enjoy housework and those that do should make it their career.

What if you started to change the way you looked at the boring things and see them as something that gets you to the next point. I do housework so I have a clean house to sit in and clean clothes to wear every day. I sit at my computer for hours a couple of days a week so that I can get my message out to you guys.

Changing the way you think about your day helps you get through it better. If changing your thoughts doesn’t help then there are other things to consider…

Do you find that you are exhausted by the end of your working day? Have you considered looking at your nutrition? Are you eating enough? Are you eating the right kinds of foods to nourish your body? Soul food is called soul food because it makes you feel good inside.

Have you considered shortening your working day (if at all possible) I know that so many of us work all day from 7am (or earlier) till 9pm (or later) and don’t always if at all take a lunch break. Is that you? Do you need to start looking at how to restructure your day? Do you need to be stricter with your time and not let other people take over your life and schedule?

Make the most of what you have. Enjoy it, be happy, if you hate it don’t do it. Live for each day, each moment.

Find a job you love, fill your life with people you love, do things that make you happy.

Don’t waste a minute. Life is too short not to live and love it. No regrets, no wishing you had made more time for your family and friends. No one ever got to their death bed and said they were glad they stayed in the office that extra hour… Just saying…

Jen x

 

Perfectly Imperfect

You are perfect.

Everyone is.

Perfectly imperfect.

We all have those things that we see in ourselves that we hate (I will fill you in on some of mine in a minute), but if someone else was to look at you it is probably not something they notice.

It’s time to embrace your imperfections and make them your own.

How free would you feel if you weren’t judging yourself and thinking negatively about you?

Now I am not saying ditch healthy eating and exercise plans and embrace what you are not happy about. But forgive yourself when you make mistakes, its ok to be perfectly imperfect.  I had a couple of croissants, some biscuits, cake and not enough veggies in the last couple of days. My tummy is bloated and skin has broken out with dry and sore eczema patches because of it. I know why my skin broke out and I know how to fix it (eat better and drink more water), but I enjoyed those treats when I had them and understood what the consequences of eating them would be – I don’t hate myself, I just wonder did I really need as much as I ate or was I just being greedy?!

Mistakes, faults, imperfections are what makes us strong and will continue to make us even stronger. I know the next time I want to have a ‘treat’ not to eat as much and I won’t have as bad a breakout. I will have a stronger reason of Why I want to eat right for my body (my face bloody hurts and the dry skin round my eyes makes me look old!).

Why is it that we feel we need to put up a front, wear a mask, hide our imperfections? We pretend to be someone we are not.  We hide who we really are and put on a show of perfection, mistake free and invincible.

This show of perfection is put on for everyone, friends, family, workmates, people in the street, ourselves.

Thing is, that’s not real, we are being fake to everyone including ourselves. We are letting ourselves down by not being true to what is really going on inside. We know it inside, and you would be surprised how many people around you know that it is an act that you are putting on too. Very few people are that good at acting, and if you are you should be getting paid the big money for it.

‘True beauty comes from being honest and authentic’ – Heidi Powell.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not easy to do. For most of us, there will be the genuine you who is professional and the genuine you for your personal life. I have my professional head on most of the time. It’s safe there, I am genuinely happy when I am doing my job but I sometimes forget to switch that version of me off. It’s scary to think you are going to show a vulnerable side (you don’t need to reveal everything to everyone) but be honest with yourself first.

It is a feeling of total freedom when you are just genuine and drop the act. I am lucky to have a couple of friends who know me well enough that they see straight through my wall and I don’t pretend with at all. There is no need, there is 100% trust there.

So to share with you some of my imperfections:

  1. I am a perfectionist (which I am working on).
  2. When I smile my eyes disappear in to wee slits.
  3. When I get professional photo’s taken I go all Chandler Bing, Juliebee spends more time telling me to lose the fear face than she does telling me to smile.
  4. I have food issues.
  5. So many times I want to cheat at my workouts because it hurts.
  6. I am a control freak (which is something else I am working on too lol).
  7. I am scared of failing (even though I have failed at many, many things and survived and I am wiser for it).
  8. Even when I straighten my hair I wake up looking like I have been dragged through a bush.
  9. I have fell down the stairs twice last year and my elbow is not right, I can’t lean on it and I didn’t go to the hospital to get it checked out.

So how do we get past this fear of people seeing our imperfections?

We need to stop being so serious, learn to laugh at ourselves, not be embarrassed or scared and ask for help (or seek medical attention when you have injured yourself).

Trust in yourself, love your imperfections, and understand the lessons from your mistakes and how they have made you stronger. Don’t worry what other people think, as I told one of my clients recently fuck them! It’s no one’s business but yours.

The people who matter in your life will not be bothered about your imperfections, they will love you more for them. If they are bothered then they should have no space in your life, don’t waste time with them.

So what to do with this information?

Make a list of your imperfections, admit them to yourself, understand them then start to show them.

You don’t need to show all to everyone. That would be too much for anyone. But start to let the walls down. Choose wisely who you let in, you still need to protect yourself from people who can unnecessarily hurt you.

I would love to hear what your imperfections are.

Jen x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tom Cruise and Groundhog Day

Tom Cruise and Groundhog Day, or was it Edge of Tomorrow

I don’t go to the cinema often but earlier this year I went to see the new Tom Cruise movie, Edge of Tomorrow. I had no idea what it was going to be about.

In brief without a plot spoiler, basically Tom Cruise is in an army, goes to battle, gets killed, wakes up at the start of the day taking with him the lessons he learned from the last time to get a bit further.

How cool would that be if you could go back and re-live your day to make it right the next time.

Well you can. We obviously don’t wake up from being dead, but we do wake up… every morning.

You get to live your day again. You get to learn from the mistakes of fall downs from yesterday and make today better.

So you had a crappy day and ate a bucket of crap food yesterday.

Today, even if you have a crappy day you can make the decision to not eat the shit food.

That way your day ends better already than the day before.

What made your day shit?

The way someone else treated you?

Just because they are being a dick does not mean you need to take it personally and sabotage your efforts.

Everything going wrong or not the way you want it to? We all have those days, alarm doesn’t go off, can’t find your keys, spill the milk… its just one calamity after another.

Stop for a second.

There is nothing you can do about the alarm not going off now.

If you are meant to be somewhere call/text say you are running late.

Trace your steps back to when you last remember having your keys. Frantic searching rarely works.

Wipe up the milk, take a breath, the world is not going to end if your late or if you spill something.

We don’t need to be in a Hollywood blockbuster to be able to start a fresh every new day.

Sleep is your time to reset. Waking up is your re-start.

This is something that I teach in the 12 week nutrition course.

Having slip ups or events that you want to go to but will take you slightly off track are OK, when you get up tomorrow you get to start again.

One day of eating crap food won’t devastate your plans just the same as eating perfectly for one day one have you at your perfect weight.

If you are sick of living groundhog day and not moving forward towards your goals you can apply to join the next intake of the course .

>>> click on the link >>>  https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/nutrition-programme/

Some of you will be happy to stay in the loop, making excuses and not feeling as good about yourself as you could.

Jen x

 

 

Everything changed when i stopped doing this

So recently you were to identify 10 things that you like about yourself… How did that task go? Did you manage to get more than 10?

Did you feel better about yourself?

It should have made you feel better.

Focusing on what is good instead of what is bad always makes things easier to deal with.

This is the same for all areas of your life.

You don’t like your job? What is it you don’t like?

What is it you do like?

If you can’t think of anything positive then why the hell do you still do it?

Money is not a good enough reason if you are unhappy.

You don’t like your weight / body size?

What bits do you like?

What are you doing to change it?

If you don’t change what you are doing now nothing is going to be different.

If you are doing everything you know how to and you are still not getting results then it is time to get in an expert to help you.

The first thing I do with clients is talk about setting goals and understand why they are setting them, and what they will get out of achieving them.

Taking a step back and looking at everything from a different perspective helps you get clarity.

Sometimes you get soooo busy that you feel like to are on a treadmill, going nowhere, and there is no stop button. You can’t think clearly in this situation.

Jump off the treadmill. STOP. Breathe. The world WILL NOT fall apart if you take 5 minutes to breathe and get your shit together.

If anything when you do, your world will fall together even better than you expected.

Jen x

Don’t wait for the holidays

Don’t wait for the holidays

It is great to have things to look forward to, holidays, nights out, time with family or friends.

How often do you sit at work thinking its nearly the weekend / long weekend / weeks holiday?

But what about the rest of the time?

What are you doing while you are waiting?

What stops you from doing more exciting or interesting things every day?

Sometimes you have to do shit boring things, that’s life.

But what if you started to change the way you looked at the boring things and see them as something that gets you to the next point.

Do you find that you are exhausted by the end of your working day?

Have you considered looking at your nutrition?

Have you considered shortening your working day (if at all possible) I know that so many of us work all day from 7am (or earlier) till 9pm (or later) and don’t always if at all take a lunch break.

Is that you? Do you need to start looking at how to restructure your day?

Make the most of what you have. Enjoy it, be happy, if you hate it don’t do it. Live for each day, each moment.

Find a job you love, fill your life with people you love, do things that make you happy.

Don’t waste a minute. Life is too short not to live and love it. No regrets.

Jen x

 

Embrace the change

So last week I talked to you about being stuck in a rut and challenged you to start making some small changes. Acknowledging people and keeping your phone in your bag or pocket…

 

How is that going for you? Did you just do 1 day or did you keep it going?

 

It’s surprisingly nice when people respond.

 

Time to take this up a level. Every day you change things, your clothes, your shoes, what you eat, your mind (and if you are anything like me you will change your mind A LOT)…

 

Next challenge I want YOU to start to be more carefree, more spontaneous and more open to new things.

 

I was a self-confessed control freak about EVERYTHING.

 

Some things I still am, but it’s a work in progress.  What I want YOU to do is say YES to more invitations. Drop some of the control. Have more FUN.

 

When the ‘what if’ is in your head, ask yourself ‘will it REALLY matter if I go and have fun with my friends for a couple of hours today and I don’t answer those work emails on any evening / Saturday / Sunday afternoon?’

 

It’s nice that you are passionate and driven about your work, but you need to have time off to have FUN, put on your dancing shoes, let your hair down or just chill the fuck out.

 

I made myself ill last year not taking time off and living in constant stress, being ill made it even worse because the Dr’s couldn’t work out what was wrong with me.

 

Every test was coming back clear (thankfully) but believe me, it scared the shit out of me being sent to the hospital for tests for lymphoma.

 

Nothing makes you sit up and listen like a cancer scare.

 

My prescription from the consultant…

 

Take time off and have fun.

 

I really don’t want that to happen to you.

 

Control for me is out of fear of the unknown.

 

Now I am starting to get a kick out of the unknown.

 

I have given up 2 businesses with the support of being in business with my friend to going it alone on a path that I am not sure exactly where it is taking me – but I have some insanely exciting ideas.

 

Letting go is scary as hell, but just think of what things could be better in your life if you just let go (even a wee bit).

 

So this week YOU are saying YES to invitations.

 

And if you are not getting invited anywhere do the inviting.

 

Look for opportunities to try new things, talk to new people, start eating better, get signed up for those personal training sessions you have been promising yourself ‘once you have more time’ even change your route to work.

 

It’s human instinct to make life as familiar and routine as possible but let’s face it, familiar is getting boring, and you are not getting anywhere.

 

Life should be enjoyed and a bit of change can make it way more exciting and interesting.

 

Say YES to more this week and let me know what new things you have been up to, tweet me @freedom_trainin .

Jen x

If you would like these kicks up the arse delivered straight to your inbox you can sign up here >> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

 

Is having a flat tummy really going to make you happy?

Schopenhauer the philosopher said ‘to neglect one’s body for any other advantage in life is the greatest of follies’I am not going to lie, I had to Google follies (to save you it means ‘lack of good sense’)

One of my clients recently announced that she was just going to get liposuction because it was easier than doing the exercise and eating thing, she doesn’t think that having a flat tummy is going to make her happy anyway so she might as well focus on the things in her life that make her happy and forget about the stuff that makes her unhappy…

She stayed in class and then worked her ass on in PT while telling me that when she is away travelling she will be doing exercises every day to keep her ass in shape and make sure she doesn’t put on loads of weight while she is away travelling for 3 months.

I am pretty sure the liposuction is just chat.

Getting back to Schopenhauer, you only have one body to live in and its with you for life.

You make sure that you MOT the car, gets a service regularly, keep the oil & filters clean, you pay a lot of money to look after a car that you only keep for a few years.

So why then are you are happy to ignore and abuse your body which is for life?

I am guessing there is something you might not happy with; your of lack energy, what you see in the mirror, how you fit in to your clothes, how your bits wobble when you walk (never mind run), how out of breath you get going up stairs, you used to look good then you found your love for the vino…

You want to be buzzing with energy, look great in those clothes as you take the stairs 2 at a time (that might be pushing it a bit)… Hell YOU want to look and feel good naked!

I am not suggesting that you aim for a fitness model physique (unless it’s a goal), but you do want the confidence, pride, smile when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Finding the balance between living a life where you can eat out, have a drink and look awesome is not as hard as you think it might be.

There will be sacrifices made, lifestyle changes have to happen.

It’s your current lifestyle that is making you not like what you see just now.

It’s robbing you of that confidence.

It’s holding you back.

It’s time to make a change and find Freedom in Training.
Jen x

If you would like more straight talking wisdom delivered direct to your inbox you can sign up here >>> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

 

 

Look at yourself like you are a stranger

I love to spend the day as a tourist.

Recently I went on the hop on hop off tourist bus.

It’s amazing the things you don’t notice when you are going about your everyday life.

Looking at the city from different perspective really lets you see the beauty, culture and diversity that we have here…

How many times do you look at yourself from a different perspective?

Have you ever caught sight of yourself in a reflection or photograph that maybe you weren’t expecting to see and though wow, look at her, she looks amazing, then realised you were looking at yourself?

How did that make you feel?

It makes a change from when you look at yourself and think your roots need done, you’re looking a bit bloated, wrinkles are starting to show, you wished you had bigger/smaller boobs/ass/thighs.

Why is it easier to look and identify the flaws when that makes us feel like shit?

Why not look for the good? Identify the bits you like, and feel better about yourself straight away.

I want you to have a look in the mirror. Write down 5 things that you like about yourself today. Put it somewhere that you will see it for the rest of the day.

Then, tonight I want you to do the same again but another 5 things that are different. It doesn’t need to be all physical things, it can be about who you are as a person.

If you are reading this at night then do 5 tonight and 5 in the morning.

A brilliant video about how we see ourselves >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Watch it, it is so powerful, one of the girls at the end nails it

‘we spend too much time trying to fix the things that aren’t quite right, instead we should spend more time appreciating the things we do like’

Let me know how you feel tomorrow

Jen x

If you want more about how to love yourself more sign up here>>> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/

 

Your sexy, but maybe don’t know it

If you asked me if I thought I was sexy, or could explain what that felt like, I would be clueless.  Most women would probably tell you the same thing.

Are you sexy?

I came across a podcast that defined traits that every woman should have that will make her sexy… Good news girls, it’s not botox, fake boobs and shorts that your arse hangs out the back of.

Being sexy is not about how you look, it’s all about your character, what’s inside, what you have going on and in line with your values and how you portray yourself.

The 10 traits that were mentioned on the podcast are:

  1. Independence – being able to financially support yourself, let a man buy you a gift if he wants, just don’t be needy and relying on him to pay for everything for you. Have your job / career / business and make it work for you so you can buy what you want when you want without permission. At the same time he needs to be financially independent too, NEVER fund someone else. And don’t be stuck in a relationship or situation because of finances.
  2. Get your shit together – Being financially independent, living your passion, have hobbies and a purpose outside of your career and outside of any relationship. You need to have a life of your own. There is nothing worse than waiting around for a man to make your life more interesting. This goes for guys too, running around after someone else like a needy puppy is not an attractive trait to have.
  3. Not needing to be in a relationship – Life is for living, not waiting for someone else. Don’t hold on to the past where you might have been hurt in another relationship. But don’t fill a gap with a boy just for the sake of having someone there. If you are constantly going out and only looking for love or attention from the opposite (or same sex if that’s your thing) it can come across as desperate & needy. Don’t make it a priority to who you are. Relationship should complement your life not complete it. Wait for the right person. In a relationship you should not be dependent on the other person (Cause you have your shit together)
  4. Kick deadlines to the kirb – Your biological clock is NOT ticking… being over 30 is not old. When did you genuinely start living?? Your 20’s were fun, but let’s face it your done with that. Your 30’s is about finding the real you and living life. Work on yourself first, get hobbies, interests outside of work and life a FULL and interesting life.
  5. Stay classy – how you dress, how you act, how you handle yourself on a night out… our teenage years were for falling about drunk. No one wants to hang about with that person that can’t handle their drink / themselves. Dress for your age and body shape, look in the mirror, and ask a friend that you know will be honest. Have high standards for yourself and expect nothing less from anyone else in your life.
  6. Stop seeking attention – Whether it’s your social media feed or how you act in public, attention seekers come across as desperate. Measure your self-worth on personal success and the people you have around you.
  7. Be nurturing – be caring, loving, loyal. Be compassionate but stand up for yourself with confidence. When you are stressed it’s easy to be bitchy and irrational. Smile more (genuine smiles though, forced ones just look creepy).
  8. Don’t play games – if a man likes you he will like you for you… if you want to call or text the next day do it… there are no rules. If he is interested he will respond. If he’s not he won’t so don’t bother following up your message if there is no response. Move on (stay classy). If you want someone to be straight up with you then you need to be the same. Give out what you want back. If you feel like you need to play a game to keep someone in your life they are not worth having there.
  9. Stay open minded – Across all areas of your life, be open to trying new things. If you are in a relationship this includes in the bedroom, get creative, keep things interesting for both of you, no one wants to be bored. You want to rock you man’s world like no 20yr old would ever know how to. Be confident and get what you want too.
  10. Know what you want – in life, for dinner, how you decorate your home. Know what you want and learn how to express it in a confident non-confrontational way. No one is a mind reader, so you need to speak up. Say with confidence, be decisive. Let someone know if they do something that pisses you off OR makes you happy.

How many of these would you say you are comfortable with? More that you thought? None of them are that challenging.

We are strong independent ladies with our shit together.

Good news ladies, your sexy and you know it…. And if you are not quite there yet you have a short list to work on.

Go be sexy

Jen x

And if you would like more inspiration to being confident and sexy in your inbox each day you can sign up here>>> https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/daily-chicken-soup-for-the-soul/