Create Your Own Boundaries

Day 17 Create boundaries

Think about those people from day 13 that you want to de-clutter. Those people that are constantly needy, drain your energy, don’t leave you feeling a buzz of excitement about life when they go… The energy vampires.

Maybe it’s not possible to completely remove them, family, work colleagues etc. But you can create boundaries. Prepare your time with them in your head and understand the situation that you are going in to.

Make a conscious effort to not let them steal your energy or get in to your head. Lead with your mood and stay strong. You could even create an imaginary bullet proof bubble around yourself that them and their negativity bounce off.

Make space in your world for people who make it better, who lift your mood and energy. Whether its work or personal life allow boundaries but let them be changeable.

Know when to let people get closer and when to keep them back.

It can be easy to put big walls up and not let anyone in, but life gets hard when you push everyone away and try to do it all yourself (I know…. I have done that & it does not work).

This can be a tough one to do especially if you are used to having walls up and you need to bring them down or even if you are used to being open and letting everyone in.

Knowing that it is ok to have some walls, but again, learning to put yourself and your happiness first is a priority for you to be able to give more.

Stay strong

Jen x

 

 

Saturday Kitchen

Saturday Kitchen

This has to be one of my favourite breakfasts at the moment. I like oats in the morning because they fill me up without feeling sluggish and I can eat them before I go and teach a class without any worries of feeling unwell.

Mixed Grain Porridge (Muesli)

30g Gluten free oats

40g Mix of rye, millet, buckwheat & quinoa flakes (you can use any mix you like)

10g Chia seeds

1 tablespoon desiccated coconut

1 tablespoon goji berries

2 dates chopped (I use medjool dates – check ingredients for ones coated in glucose syrup)

1 teaspoon cinnamon

100ml coconut / almond / rice / oat milk

Add all ingredients to jar, mix and cover, then leave overnight to soak.

In the morning eat as is or add some more milk to create desired texture. Option to eat cold or heat it up.

Any choice of dried fruit or even fresh fruit like banana can be added, cinnamon is optional

PS If you do know someone who would enjoy or benefit from my emails you can forward them this email link so they can sign up too https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/leadbox/140a9de73f72a2%3A1688fc78ab46dc/5765606242516992/

 

PPS I am taking applications for working with me one to one and details of the online programme will be out in the next couple of weeks. https://warriorwomanproject.wufoo.com/forms/ultimate-warrior-woman-copy/

 

 

Eat, sleep, sweat and laugh

First thing. How did you go yesterday changing the way you wrote your To Do Lists? I powered through mine I was stoked at how much I got done. Every day the lists are getting done in the same way.

All too often you go to the doctor and walk out with a fist full of prescriptions to fix problems that the cause has not been identified.

2 years ago now, I had more visits to the doctor and hospital than I have had in my entire life.

My first visit they weren’t really sure what was wrong with me so gave me a 5 day course of antibiotics while I waited for blood tests.

Results came back that I had helicobacter pylori and was given another 7 days triple strength antibiotics along with anti-nausea and heartburn medication for the side effects of the antibiotics. That little cocktail knocked me out for 2 weeks.

3 months later I went through the similar symptoms, this time there was lymph nodes inflamed so more tests were done, this time nothing was showing up in the tests so was referred to haematology.

At no point did any of the Dr’s from my initial consultations ask me about my eating , sleeping, or lifestyle. It was only when I got to the consultant at the hospital (which was by that point 6 months down the line) that they asked.

Turns out my symptoms were all brought on by stress.

I wasn’t eating right. I wasn’t sleeping. I was doing too much exercise and having no down time with friends or family.

My prescription from the consultant?

Take some time off and have fun. Get good decent food in me and get 8 hours sleep a night.

What happened when I took that on board?

Lymph glands went down, helicobacter went dormant, dizziness and nausea stopped and I had energy to do stuff.

My body seems to work with the seasons. During these summer months I only get about 6 hours sleep a night but I don’t wake up exhausted.

In the winter I easily get 10hours if I don’t have a class to get up for.

When I am eating right everything works great. When I get lazy (because I am human and sometimes just can’t be bothered cooking) if it goes on for too long the helicobacter rears its head to remind me I need to get back on track.

Learning to listen to your body is so important to keep you healthy.

A few of my clients have taken on the 7 days no sugar challenge and the thing they have all come back to me with is how they notice the difference in their energy levels and mood.

When they were off the sugar they had loads of energy and there moods were pretty level. The first time they had some sugar the week after they felt lethargic and a bit depressed.

Most of us live in that cycle of lethargy and mood swings and how often do we reach for something sweet to get a boost of energy or when we are feeling down?

They are now at a point that if they are out and there are cake’s or desert they don’t feel that they need to have some just because they are there. They are quite happy to leave it, or if they feel like they do fancy a wee scone or desert they can take one and know that it’s not going to have a massive impact.

It is important to find out why it is you want certain foods and how to deal with situations and make changes to have a positive attitude and healthy relationship with food. It’s not easy, its hard work that just keeps on going. Every day and every week as you learn more about yourself it gets easier.

It’s about making lifestyle changes and understanding what is important to you. Do you want to be fat and unhealthy because you think you want cake or do you want to be healthy and happy knowing that you can have a bit of cake when you actually want it?

So in my humble opinion, exercise, food, sleep and laughter are the best medicines (not necessarily in that order).

Eat well, rest well, laugh a lot and sweat a bit to visit the doctor or the chemist less.

Jen x

Solo dates and fun stuff

For quite a while now on Sundays I have been trying to do different things with my day. I am expanding my culture and experiences to develop me as a person.

I have been to the Art Galleries, the Transport Museum, Gallery of Modern Art, walked up Conic Hill, been climbing, to movies at the GFT…

Some of them I have done with friends, some on my own.

How often do you do things outside of your normal routine?

Do you ever go off and do stuff on your own? Taking time out by yourself.

I love spending time alone. Pottering, writing, reading, people watching, thinking about things, thinking about nothing.

I totally believe that you NEED to be comfortable doing things on your own.

It’s even more than comfortable, but happy & content. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than liking your own company.

People have more respect for you when they see that you are independent, weirdly it makes people want to hang out with you more.

Why do people want to hang out with you more? Because you display good, strong values and they see that they can learn from you.

If you are someone who isn’t comfortable on their own, like as soon as you are left alone the first thing you do is grab your phone and start texting, checking Facebook/ twitter or reading your emails.

Learn to not do that.

Your challenge for this week, if its something you are not good at.

Be alone, no phone for comfort. Go somewhere, do something different.

Go to a museum, coffee shop (you can take a book to read, but don’t use social media if you have your kindle/ipad/tablet to read, it must be a book), go for a walk, go for dinner, go on a day trip (the city tour buses are always good).

Let me know what you are doing for your challenge.

Fo and push yourself to do something outside your comfort zone.

Jen x

Love yourself… RANT

You say you want to look better so that you will feel better about yourself, so that you will feel more confident, happier.

You say you want to find love but it seems you don’t even love yourself…

How much are you prioritising yourself?

Do you eat for health?

Do you exercise or do activities that keep you healthy?

Do you have hobbies, interests that entertain you?

Are you learning new things everyday to develop yourself in to an even more amazing person?

If the honest answer to any of these questions is no (and that includes answers of hesitation, sometimes or not really) then you need to get a grip.

We comes back to that term ‘self-sabotage’.

The only person preventing you from being happy is you.

There might be people around you questioning you, doubting your abilities. My question to you would be, why they hell are they still around?

If you don’t love and respect yourself then why would anyone else? You do not need someone to ‘save’ you or entertain you.

The people around you – friends, family, partners should be there to compliment your life not complete it.

Think of people you have moved on from…

How did those relationships start out? What happened? Why did you end up moving away from it?

This is not just boyfriends / husbands / partners, this is friendships too. There was a reason they started and a reason they ended (not always a fall out, sometimes just drifting apart, moving on, a change of chapter in your life).

It’s time for to fall in love with yourself.

Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you to be better and want better.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with…

Make that average BIG, make it AMAZING. Make it that other people want you to be part of their 5.

It’s time to stop bullshitting yourself.

It’s time to take control and make you a priority.

Write a list of the 5 things you are least happy with.

Then write a list of the 5 things you are most happy with.

Using the 5 things you are most happy with, how can you use them to your advantage to change the things you are least happy with?

Write it down.

Make a plan.

Start working on it.

I want to know how you are getting on… So, do it today and let me know.

Jen x

Whopper of a lie…

So, I sat down the other night, typically there was nothing on so flicked through the TiVo to see what had been recorded…

Secret Eaters… I love this show.

People who are overweight and can’t understand why have secret cameras and people spying on them to see what it is they really are eating that is stopping them lose weight.

The usual scenario is they think they are eating 1200 calories when in fact they are necking down not a kick in the arse off 3000 calories.

Quite often too many of the calories are hidden.  I saw one guy who drank 2 litres of coke a day who had swapped it for what he thought was the healthy option of fruit juice… 2 litres of that a day.

Pretty much the same sugar and calorie content in both drinks and it hadn’t even occurred to him that this was all calories.

Best one I saw was a woman who stopped off for a chippy on the way home from the supermarket to make dinner…. Eh?!

I don’t think this was the first time she had done that the way the staff in the chip shop were chatting to her and there had been no mention of it in her food diary she had submitted to the show.

Thing is, the only person she is cheating by doing that is herself.

‘If no one sees me eat it then it doesn’t count’

YES it does count. It’s a lie. A lie to yourself.

The same as, ‘it was only a wee bit of cake’ ‘I only had 3 sausage rolls when I would normally have 5’.

Excuses and lies you tell yourself to forgive yourself…

Why? So that you don’t feel bad in that moment, even though you know you are going to feel bad later and then even worse when you stand on the scales or get the measure tape out.

I ask all my clients to do me a food diary.

Do they do it? Not always. I know when they have had a bad week because they conveniently have forgotten to do it.

Those are the weeks they feel sluggish, moody, their skin has wee breakouts and they feel guilty.

When they do it though, they eat better. They eat more consciously. They feel better. They have more energy.

Plus they know that if they do have a treat or a couple of wines at the end of the week, they have had a good week as an insurance policy.

Brian (my coach I told you about yesterday) has a great point. You can’t try to do anything… You are either doing it or you are not doing it. Try to pick up a pen… you are either picking it up or you are not… there is no in between.

I did throw this back at him one day during PT when he told me he was trying to complete his 50 push ups but kept stopping… Bet he wishes I didn’t pay so much attention to him.

It’s not just about food that we lie to ourselves about. I remember when I went back to uni and stayed in most weekends to study. Reality was I spent about 2hrs of the whole weekend actually studying the rest on Facebook, Twitter, google search buying new stuff…

The biggest thing I lost out on was a social life.

Doing my postgrad I was more tactical. 2hrs offline, no mobile, study. As soon as I had done 2 hours the rest of my time was mine… Worked a treat (I know I keep bragging about it but I am still shocked… I passed with Merit).

When you are not meeting your goals you need to take a step back and look at why. If you set your goal and worked out the plan you should be on your way (that’s why reviewing at least every 4 weeks is ideal).

Where are you going wrong? What lies are you telling yourself? What help do you need to get it on track?

Tell the people around you what you are trying to achieve and ask them for help. If you tell people then you need to hold yourself accountable.

You are responsible for your own actions and your own life.

Don’t be reduced to an hour of fame by getting secret cameras to follow you around and shame you in to getting results.

What is the biggest lie you are telling yourself right now?

Tell me, I want to know & I may be able to help in future emails…

Promise I won’t name and shame you.

Jen

Goal + Plan + Contingency = Success

Oscar Wilde ‘success is a science, if you have the conditions you will get the results’

To be successful you need to create the right conditions to make the results happen.

In previous emails I have suggested that you set some goals.

How is that going for you?

Have you worked out your plan?

Have you figured out what and who you need to help you achieve your results?

Have you started to make the changes to get you to where you need to be?

It is up to you to set your conditions in place to allow everything to come together.

You need to put yourself in to the right mind-set. Focus on the outcome.

You pack your gym stuff, prepare your food, set the alarm early.

One part of the plan falls out of place and the rest of the plan goes out the window.

For example, my flatmate:

Packed her gym stuff, set the alarm, prepared all her food.

Alarm went off, decided she was cosy in bed, wouldn’t get up and go to work at the end of the day.

She got up later, then when getting ready for work she realised that she was getting her hair done after so she ditched her whole healthy eating plan for the day. Roll & sausage & potato scone, Victoria sponge, chocolate…

(She did tell me about this to out her in my emails, I am not being nasty)

Just because she didn’t go to the gym there was no real reason to ditch the rest of her plans for the day.

How often do you let that happen to you?

Goal + Plan + Contingency = Success

Have a good day, and get back on the plan even if there is a side step.

Jen x

 

 

 

Tom Cruise and Groundhog Day

Tom Cruise and Groundhog Day, or was it Edge of Tomorrow

I don’t go to the cinema often but earlier this year I went to see the new Tom Cruise movie, Edge of Tomorrow. I had no idea what it was going to be about.

In brief without a plot spoiler, basically Tom Cruise is in an army, goes to battle, gets killed, wakes up at the start of the day taking with him the lessons he learned from the last time to get a bit further.

How cool would that be if you could go back and re-live your day to make it right the next time.

Well you can. We obviously don’t wake up from being dead, but we do wake up… every morning.

You get to live your day again. You get to learn from the mistakes of fall downs from yesterday and make today better.

So you had a crappy day and ate a bucket of crap food yesterday.

Today, even if you have a crappy day you can make the decision to not eat the shit food.

That way your day ends better already than the day before.

What made your day shit?

The way someone else treated you?

Just because they are being a dick does not mean you need to take it personally and sabotage your efforts.

Everything going wrong or not the way you want it to? We all have those days, alarm doesn’t go off, can’t find your keys, spill the milk… its just one calamity after another.

Stop for a second.

There is nothing you can do about the alarm not going off now.

If you are meant to be somewhere call/text say you are running late.

Trace your steps back to when you last remember having your keys. Frantic searching rarely works.

Wipe up the milk, take a breath, the world is not going to end if your late or if you spill something.

We don’t need to be in a Hollywood blockbuster to be able to start a fresh every new day.

Sleep is your time to reset. Waking up is your re-start.

This is something that I teach in the 12 week nutrition course.

Having slip ups or events that you want to go to but will take you slightly off track are OK, when you get up tomorrow you get to start again.

One day of eating crap food won’t devastate your plans just the same as eating perfectly for one day one have you at your perfect weight.

If you are sick of living groundhog day and not moving forward towards your goals you can apply to join the next intake of the course .

>>> click on the link >>>  https://freedomintraining.leadpages.net/nutrition-programme/

Some of you will be happy to stay in the loop, making excuses and not feeling as good about yourself as you could.

Jen x

 

 

Don’t wait for the holidays

Don’t wait for the holidays

It is great to have things to look forward to, holidays, nights out, time with family or friends.

How often do you sit at work thinking its nearly the weekend / long weekend / weeks holiday?

But what about the rest of the time?

What are you doing while you are waiting?

What stops you from doing more exciting or interesting things every day?

Sometimes you have to do shit boring things, that’s life.

But what if you started to change the way you looked at the boring things and see them as something that gets you to the next point.

Do you find that you are exhausted by the end of your working day?

Have you considered looking at your nutrition?

Have you considered shortening your working day (if at all possible) I know that so many of us work all day from 7am (or earlier) till 9pm (or later) and don’t always if at all take a lunch break.

Is that you? Do you need to start looking at how to restructure your day?

Make the most of what you have. Enjoy it, be happy, if you hate it don’t do it. Live for each day, each moment.

Find a job you love, fill your life with people you love, do things that make you happy.

Don’t waste a minute. Life is too short not to live and love it. No regrets.

Jen x

 

Embrace the change

So last week I talked to you about being stuck in a rut and challenged you to start making some small changes. Acknowledging people and keeping your phone in your bag or pocket…

 

How is that going for you? Did you just do 1 day or did you keep it going?

 

It’s surprisingly nice when people respond.

 

Time to take this up a level. Every day you change things, your clothes, your shoes, what you eat, your mind (and if you are anything like me you will change your mind A LOT)…

 

Next challenge I want YOU to start to be more carefree, more spontaneous and more open to new things.

 

I was a self-confessed control freak about EVERYTHING.

 

Some things I still am, but it’s a work in progress.  What I want YOU to do is say YES to more invitations. Drop some of the control. Have more FUN.

 

When the ‘what if’ is in your head, ask yourself ‘will it REALLY matter if I go and have fun with my friends for a couple of hours today and I don’t answer those work emails on any evening / Saturday / Sunday afternoon?’

 

It’s nice that you are passionate and driven about your work, but you need to have time off to have FUN, put on your dancing shoes, let your hair down or just chill the fuck out.

 

I made myself ill last year not taking time off and living in constant stress, being ill made it even worse because the Dr’s couldn’t work out what was wrong with me.

 

Every test was coming back clear (thankfully) but believe me, it scared the shit out of me being sent to the hospital for tests for lymphoma.

 

Nothing makes you sit up and listen like a cancer scare.

 

My prescription from the consultant…

 

Take time off and have fun.

 

I really don’t want that to happen to you.

 

Control for me is out of fear of the unknown.

 

Now I am starting to get a kick out of the unknown.

 

I have given up 2 businesses with the support of being in business with my friend to going it alone on a path that I am not sure exactly where it is taking me – but I have some insanely exciting ideas.

 

Letting go is scary as hell, but just think of what things could be better in your life if you just let go (even a wee bit).

 

So this week YOU are saying YES to invitations.

 

And if you are not getting invited anywhere do the inviting.

 

Look for opportunities to try new things, talk to new people, start eating better, get signed up for those personal training sessions you have been promising yourself ‘once you have more time’ even change your route to work.

 

It’s human instinct to make life as familiar and routine as possible but let’s face it, familiar is getting boring, and you are not getting anywhere.

 

Life should be enjoyed and a bit of change can make it way more exciting and interesting.

 

Say YES to more this week and let me know what new things you have been up to, tweet me @freedom_trainin .

Jen x

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