Your sexy, but maybe don’t know it

If you asked me if I thought I was sexy, or could explain what that felt like, I would be clueless.  Most women would probably tell you the same thing.

Are you sexy?

I came across a podcast that defined traits that every woman should have that will make her sexy… Good news girls, it’s not botox, fake boobs and shorts that your arse hangs out the back of.

Being sexy is not about how you look, it’s all about your character, what’s inside, what you have going on and in line with your values and how you portray yourself.

The 10 traits that were mentioned on the podcast are:

  1. Independence – being able to financially support yourself, let a man buy you a gift if he wants, just don’t be needy and relying on him to pay for everything for you. Have your job / career / business and make it work for you so you can buy what you want when you want without permission. At the same time he needs to be financially independent too, NEVER fund someone else. And don’t be stuck in a relationship or situation because of finances.
  2. Get your shit together – Being financially independent, living your passion, have hobbies and a purpose outside of your career and outside of any relationship. You need to have a life of your own. There is nothing worse than waiting around for a man to make your life more interesting. This goes for guys too, running around after someone else like a needy puppy is not an attractive trait to have.
  3. Not needing to be in a relationship – Life is for living, not waiting for someone else. Don’t hold on to the past where you might have been hurt in another relationship. But don’t fill a gap with a boy just for the sake of having someone there. If you are constantly going out and only looking for love or attention from the opposite (or same sex if that’s your thing) it can come across as desperate & needy. Don’t make it a priority to who you are. Relationship should complement your life not complete it. Wait for the right person. In a relationship you should not be dependent on the other person (Cause you have your shit together)
  4. Kick deadlines to the kirb – Your biological clock is NOT ticking… being over 30 is not old. When did you genuinely start living?? Your 20’s were fun, but let’s face it your done with that. Your 30’s is about finding the real you and living life. Work on yourself first, get hobbies, interests outside of work and life a FULL and interesting life.
  5. Stay classy – how you dress, how you act, how you handle yourself on a night out… our teenage years were for falling about drunk. No one wants to hang about with that person that can’t handle their drink / themselves. Dress for your age and body shape, look in the mirror, and ask a friend that you know will be honest. Have high standards for yourself and expect nothing less from anyone else in your life.
  6. Stop seeking attention – Whether it’s your social media feed or how you act in public, attention seekers come across as desperate. Measure your self-worth on personal success and the people you have around you.
  7. Be nurturing – be caring, loving, loyal. Be compassionate but stand up for yourself with confidence. When you are stressed it’s easy to be bitchy and irrational. Smile more (genuine smiles though, forced ones just look creepy).
  8. Don’t play games – if a man likes you he will like you for you… if you want to call or text the next day do it… there are no rules. If he is interested he will respond. If he’s not he won’t so don’t bother following up your message if there is no response. Move on (stay classy). If you want someone to be straight up with you then you need to be the same. Give out what you want back. If you feel like you need to play a game to keep someone in your life they are not worth having there.
  9. Stay open minded – Across all areas of your life, be open to trying new things. If you are in a relationship this includes in the bedroom, get creative, keep things interesting for both of you, no one wants to be bored. You want to rock you man’s world like no 20yr old would ever know how to. Be confident and get what you want too.
  10. Know what you want – in life, for dinner, how you decorate your home. Know what you want and learn how to express it in a confident non-confrontational way. No one is a mind reader, so you need to speak up. Say with confidence, be decisive. Let someone know if they do something that pisses you off OR makes you happy.

How many of these would you say you are comfortable with? More that you thought? None of them are that challenging.

We are strong independent ladies with our shit together.

Good news ladies, your sexy and you know it…. And if you are not quite there yet you have a short list to work on.

Go be sexy

Jen x

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