So did you do go on a solo date yet?
How did it make you feel?
If not, why not?
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu
Worrying about what other people think holds us back from what we want to do.
How do you know what it is they are actually thinking?
Unless they actually tell you, then you are just making that shit up in your head. And the crap you dream up is WAY off mark (true story).
Pretty much guaranteed they are thinking about themselves, what they are having for dinner or cake (unless it’s a dude then they will be thinking about sex).
I used to do everything on a whim, not think about what anyone else thought, or even worry about the outcome. If you don’t try how will you know? That took me to living in Greece, Spain, Australia, I even got married not questioning it one bit (best way if I am honest, if there is doubt chances are its not the right one – do take proper further advice on this though, I do not want to be responsible for hearts being wrongly broken all over the place).
Life was so much easier and way more interesting. My head was calm, unquestioning, innocent you could even say. Why would it not work? Why would I stay in this place when it might be better over there?
You make a few mistakes, get burned a couple of times, heartbroken and all of a sudden you overthink everything. Question your judgement and decisions. You get scared. You start to worry ‘what if’ and then stop doing things. What if I don’t want to stay in the next country I try? What if I don’t ask the right questions? What if I get a broken heart again?
Blah, blah, blah. Recently I have been seeking out how to relax my thoughts a bit. 3 firewalks, many NLP sessions, meditation, exercise, yoga and I am in a much better place than I was 4 years ago. I am currently working my way around different meditation centres trying to find the one that is good for me. I have defo noticed a difference.
(Tip, there is a TED talk online that talks about how physiology has a massive effect on your stress and confidence hormones, standing in the Wonder Woman pose for 2 minutes a day will have a physiological change on your confidence. One of my Warrior Women has been trying it and she is blown away and slightly terrified at how effective it has been. Feet shoulder width apart, hands on hips (like wonder woman) and breathe for 2 minutes) I need to add this in to my life.
I have started to take more chances, I am engaging with more people, putting myself in to (safe) situations that I would normally shy away from, I am open to more ideas and trying new things. As of 17th Jan 2015 when I am writing this, I am on 10 day of 1 new thing each day and I am LOVING it. Don’t get me wrong some of these things are pretty small – driving my new car in the snow, telling my mum I was getting a new tattoo before I actually got it (that was quite big actually) to big things like going along to a singles social event all by myself.
I have stopped worrying about what people think as much as I used to. I do remember the first time I went to the cinema by myself, I was worried about what other people would think. The worst thing about it was wanting to make a comment about something in the film and realising there was no one to actually say it to. I now prefer to go alone so I don’t talk.
Even if someone was being critical or judging you… Does it really matter? It’s one person’s opinion.
How would things change for you if you didn’t even consider what other people were thinking about? How free would you feel now worrying about what other people think? How much more would you do and say? I do sometimes say something then think after, ‘really, did I just say that?’
What would it take for you to stop considering what other people might be thinking and just go ahead and do what you want?
Give it a go, just even for a couple of hours, you never know, you might like it.