Poor me

Yesterday I was telling you about balance and how area’s of your life are seasonal.

It got me thinking about how we deal with problems. I used to have a problem and focus on the fact that I had a problem and look at the problem from every angle wondering why I felt worse.

The problem was that I was focusing on the problem itself rather than the solution to the problem.

Problem: All your friends are off travelling / getting married & having babies and you are feeling a bit lonely…

Solution: You have a couple of options here: go travelling yourself, find a man to marry you, get out and do things on your own, find a group of new friends…

None of that happens when you are sitting in on your own feeling sorry for yourself dreaming of the life you would like to have. You have to be the one that takes action, makes an effort, starts some conversations and ask to be included.

Problem: You hate your job…

Solution: Quit, leave, move department, find something that you LOVE to do… Be responsible when you do this especially if you have bills to pay and no back up funds to keep you afloat while you find something else. I don’t need any angry emails when you get evicted telling me ‘but you said to quit my job’.

Identify what it is you enjoy doing; this might take some time if you don’t already know what you have a passion for. You might have to start doing some courses, joining some groups, trying things you hadn’t thought of before (this could even kill 2 birds with one stone if all your friends have ditched you too getting you out meeting people). You might have to take a bit of a pay cut but the happiness you get from not having to do a job you hate is worth it. You will also realise that you don’t need all the materialistic things you use to make you feel better. If someone offered me a million pounds to go back to a Monday to Friday 9-5 job I would 150% turn it down!

Problem: You feel fat.

Solution: Start moving more, look at what you are eating and get honest with yourself. You know that eating shit doesn’t make you feel better in the long run. You know that sitting on your arse watching TV isn’t doing you any good. You know that just making a couple of small changes to your day will have a more positive effect on how you feel about yourself. And if you hit a plateau or are not sure what you are doing wrong, get yourself a trainer to help you out.

Changing your mind-set from ‘I have a problem, poor me’ to ‘I have a problem, what can I do about it?’ is going to get you much further and much happier in a much shorter space of time… Being stuck in a ‘poor me’ headspace doesn’t win you any fans (harsh but true).

So get your head in a solution finding space and challenge the shit out of your negative head

Jen x

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