Internet dating, dating and standards

One of my friends (not my flatemate this time, she is getting a break today) is on some online dating app…

Now, I personally have never used any online facility to meet boys, there is something that doesn’t sit right about it (for me), I like to meet people in the flesh.

The thing I don’t get, a boy sends a message, he arranges a date, he sends a message to reschedule the date (some crap about having to work late), he then postpones the date AGAIN this time without arranging something definite.

I have issues with this.

  1. He has made no verbal contact
  2. He has postponed an initial meeting more than once

My advice is to tell him to jog on… You only get to reschedule once (as long as someone has died).

Since when is it acceptable to be put off and put off?

If someone genuinely wants to meet you, they need to make an effort. Even if it is for 30mins coffee just to say hi and meet you in person. That is much better than ‘I will be in touch when I have nothing better to do with my time’

Ladies (and gents), you need to raise your standards.

Since when is it OK to accept being second best or an after-thought?

Have confidence in yourself that you are worth the effort.

When you do go on the date, don’t be nervous about what the other person thinks of you. Fuck that, you are checking out if they are good enough for you.

Things you want to check – Are you looking for something that is real life? When I say that, I mean you are not searching for a character from a book, movie or TV – they do not exist.

People have flaws and are not perfect. What you need to consider is do their imperfections make you feel like shit? If yes, move on.

This is not just about romantic encounters (I have little to no experience in this area being single for a long time now) it’s about all your relationships, friends and family too.

Your friends, a quick call to check in on each other, swing past their house on the way home from work, let them know you care.

In business, people who put off or let you down you would stop doing business with them, you would not be a return customer.

People should feel lucky to have you as part of their life not you feel lucky to be part of theirs.

If they don’t bring anything to your life, then really what is the point?

Set your standards high, and know you are worth it. At the same time don’t use your standards as a shield to protect you from everyone. You need to learn to be vulnerable too (more on that soon).

Jen x

 

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