Going it alone

I don’t know if you have ever been invited to a wedding when you have been single and either not been offered a plus one or don’t have anyone that you can ask. It is a tough gig being a single girl these days especially when everyone around you seems to be getting married.

Wedding season is well and truly upon us, in the last year I have been invited to and attended 5 weddings so far… One of them I flew solo, one of them I didn’t make because my car was broken, one of them there was a group of us singletons all going together, one of them I have not yet been to and one of them I went as my friends plus one because her boyfriend wasn’t available and everyone seemed to think that we were there as a gay couple.

A few of my friends are going through the same thing, many weddings and also flying solo.

The challenge for most of us is not the fact that we are going in alone to a room full of couples, the challenge is how people react to us when we do show up on our own.

There are the pity looks. The ‘aw, you can come and sit with us if you have no one else to talk to’. There are the reassuring comments of ‘you will meet someone soon when the time is right / when you are least expecting it’.  Sometimes you even get the insensitive ‘what’s wrong with you that you are still single?’ – I think that one is my favourite.

Whether it’s a wedding, a family party, a birthday party, a night out or whatever your relationship status shouldn’t define your happiness and other peoples (thoughtless) comments shouldn’t influence what you think about yourself (I am sure that they don’t mean to be insensitive and genuinely think they are being helpful).

I have known plenty of people that stay in the wrong relationship just because they were afraid of being alone or don’t want to be the one to hurt the other person. I know people that are not good at being single. I know people that are very comfortable being single. I also know many people in relationships that they work bloody hard at to be happy, balanced and respectful of each other.

No matter what status you have, no matter what is going on in your world, it really isn’t anyone else’s place to question, challenge, comment, or have an opinion on your life and your happiness.

What is right for them is not necessarily right for you.

If you are heading in to party season just remember, for the most part, the questions and comments are not meant to make you feel bad.

What would make you feel bad if you showed up feeling sorry for yourself, sitting in a corner all alone with a sad and hurt look on your face. Get in amongst the people, get involved in conversations, invite people up to dance, dance alone… Just go and have a good time…

Don’t invite yourself to the pity party, be the life and soul of the party.

With love

Jen x

PS If you need a confidence boost, a hot ass and sexy arms for your next party the warrior woman project small group fitness personal training starts THIS Sunday www.warriorwomanproject.com to sign up or get in touch to discuss your options.

 

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