Yesterday I was talking to you about communication and connecting with people.
There are some people that you instantly click with and others that need a bit more work. Sometimes though that work can just be about you and what head space you are in when you first meet.
If your head is busy and you are distracted, straight away you can give off a disinterested and stand offish vibe that could make the other person not feel comfortable to be themselves. Or maybe it is them who is distracted and has other things on their mind…
Remember, only your world revolves around you. You are the most important person in your world, they are the most important person in theirs. Fair’s fair.
If you do want people to respond and connect with you more, you need to put in some of the ground work, be open to conversation, say ‘Hi’ first, smile, make the effort, even ask how their day is going.
I had a conversation with a client recently who was talking about how much better her friend gets treated when she goes to restaurants and café’s and in shops than she does. I remember having had the same problem. I watched the people I know that get great service to see what was different.
The difference was I didn’t really give much energy or take much notice of the people I was dealing with. I was polite, said my pleases and thank you’s but didn’t really take much other notice. I was too busy in my own head, thinking about my own stuff.
When I started to be more present in these transactions, gave attention to whoever I was connecting with it changed. I was nicer to them, they were nicer to me.
We can’t expect people to go the extra mile for us if we don’t go the extra mile and show we give a shit about them.
There will be some people that no matter how nice you are to them you will get nothing back. You don’t know what is going on in their world so don’t take it personally.
It only takes a little bit of effort to make a situation much more pleasant for both of you.
Have a great Tuesday