Planning and a favour

Last day of the month is always setting day… We are setting up for what we want June to look like. Yesterday we reflected on May, now we use that to set June.

When you review back in a month’s time what do you want to see?

What do you want to be different?

What do you want to be better?

In June I want to get out and speak to more groups of women about the Warrior Woman Project and what it can do for them. Mind-set is everything when it comes to achieving goals so if you have a women’s group or a member of a club (Curves, Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Scottish Slimmers, Young Mum’s group etc) or even your team at work would like me to come out and to a short talk to your group to help them and introduce them to the possible help they could get from the Warrior Woman Project then please get in touch with me and we can chat about making that happen. Even if you are not sure if it would work it is good to connect.

That is one of my goals for June and I strongly believe if you don’t put it out there to ask for help then how can you keep moving forward?

I would love for you to share at least one of your goals with me… Just hit reply…

With love and planning

Jen x

Bank Holiday Woo Hoo

Bank Holiday Monday and now we are at the end of yet another busy but epic month… 2nd last day of the month so we know what that means, time to review where we are in our goals.

How many have you achieved?

How many are you on your way to achieving?

How many have you realised that they are just not right and have either side lined or binned? (You are always allowed to do this as long as it’s not just you stalling).

We always want to spend some time on this to check that we are moving in the right direction, your life, your dreams, your goals, your happiness…

The ultimate goals is always your happiness

With love

Jen x

I hate you so much right now…

I hate you so much right now…

I hate you, you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re useless, you’re not worth it, you don’t deserve good things, you’re a failure… There are a lot of nasty things that we tell ourselves and all too often. Let’s face it, telling yourself it once is one time too often. That nasty bitch that lives in our heads is our own worst critic that never gives us a break.

Each time you tell yourself one of these lies, you look for verification that it is true, what you look for you find.

If you think you are fat, you weigh yourself, compare yourself to someone else who is smaller than you, try on an outfit that you know doesn’t fit you.

If you think you are ugly, you only see and hear the people who you think reject you, you forget about all the friends and family you have that love you and see your beauty.

You go out of your way to prove to yourself that you are no good.

If your friend spoke to you like that, how long would you let them hang around? Even the meanest of people would think twice about saying these things out loud. If someone spoke like that to me, chances are they wouldn’t have their own teeth for long (not that I condone violence, but you wouldn’t stand there and take it).

What do you do to shut her up?

This can be tough to do especially if you have done a good job of convincing yourself that you are a worthless, ugly piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to be happy.

The good news is though if you can convince yourself that much that you are crap, you will have the same power within you to turn that round.

It’s your choice what you think and how you feel about yourself.

First thing I want you to do is get out of your own head, look at yourself as though you are actually standing outside your own body looking at you as a stranger. What do the people who love you think of you? What is it the love about you? What are your positive traits that you have on your CV? Why do your friends want to hang out with you?

Find 5 things that you love about yourself (these can be physical or personality) do this first thing in the morning.

Once you have that 5, keep the list where you can see it.

Then, at the end of your day add at least another 5 to that list.

Tomorrow and the next day and for the rest of the week, repeat, repeat, repeat… find as many things as you can and create a huge list so big that when the nasty thoughts come in to your head you have that list ready.

Believe in yourself

Jen x

PS A little bit of self-love and happiness comes from joining the warrior woman project and starting to take some time back for you www.warriorwomanproject.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Yourself Rant

You say you want to look better so that you will feel better about yourself, so that you will feel more confident, happier.

You say you want to find love but it seems you don’t even love yourself…

How much are you prioritising yourself?

Do you eat for health?

Do you exercise or do activities that keep you healthy?

Do you have hobbies, interests that entertain you?

Are you learning new things everyday to develop yourself in to an even more amazing person?

If the honest answer to any of these questions is no (and that includes answers of hesitation, sometimes or not really) then you need to get a grip.

We comes back to that term ‘self-sabotage’.

The only person preventing you from being happy is you.

There might be people around you questioning you, doubting your abilities. My question to you would be, why they hell are they still around?

If you don’t love and respect yourself then why would anyone else? You do not need someone to ‘save’ you or entertain you.

The people around you – friends, family, partners should be there to compliment your life not complete it.

Think of people you have moved on from…

How did those relationships start out? What happened? Why did you end up moving away from it?

This is not just boyfriends / husbands / partners, this is friendships too. There was a reason they started and a reason they ended (not always a fall out, sometimes just drifting apart, moving on, a change of chapter in your life).

It’s time for to fall in love with yourself.

Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you to be better and want better.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with…

Make that average BIG, make it AMAZING. Make it that other people want you to be part of their 5.

It’s time to stop bullshitting yourself.

It’s time to take control and make you a priority.

Write a list of the 5 things you are least happy with.

Then write a list of the 5 things you are most happy with.

Using the 5 things you are most happy with, how can you use them to your advantage to change the things you are least happy with?

Write it down.

Make a plan.

Start working on it.

I want to know how you are getting on… So, do it today and let me know.

Jen x

PS Make a difference and sign up for the Warrior Woman Project www.warriorwomanproject.com and start making a difference today

We call it happiness

‘The moment of victory is too short to live for’ # Andre Agassi.

You step on to the scales and you have lost a couple of pounds – this makes you happy.

You get a promotion at work – this makes you happy.

You get a date with the hot dude you have been dreaming about for ages – this makes you happy.

These are all great things that can make you happy in a day, the only thing with them is they are all related to goals. These are your moments of victory.

If you dictate your life around ‘I will be happy when… I have lost weight, got a job promotion, got a date’ then you are setting yourself up to spend the rest of your time unhappy.

We then have the self-sabotage moments of happiness:

I’ve had a shit week, so I will eat crap to make me feel better for 5 minutes and will get back on it tomorrow.

I have put weight on over the winter, but I need to wait for the better weather to come in then I will get started (If you live in Scotland, that day may never come).

I want to take up jogging but its wet outside.

I’m going to start on Monday.

Does the tomorrow actually ever come? Do you start on Monday or are there things that come up and you put it off for another week?

How many days, weeks, months or even years have passed since you made that promise to yourself?

When does it get so bad that you need to stop and take action? How much emotional pain do you need to be in before you can’t take anymore?

When do you make the decision that long term ongoing happiness is a better option than the goal driven, may never actually happen happiness?

There are simple steps that you can take to make changes. Implementing your FREE daily emails is one way, joining in the 31 Days Healthier, Happier Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/367489410088133/ . Another is signing up to the Warrior Woman Project, holding yourself accountable and actually making the change by being part of something that you need and can help you www.warriorwomanproject.com

Life is easier to get through when you are happy (I promise) and it is as simple as making the decision to be happy.

Jen x

 

Practising what I preach

Following on from yesterday’s email I had another realisation about listening to the universe…
Several times in the last few years I have agreed to enter contracts where I was accepting security over what I really wanted that gave me the freedom to run my business the way I want (my business values freedom is right up there at the top and security is down near the bottom of my top 12) my motive both times had been security, to have someone hold my hand (which can be fine to reach out for help but not necessarily for me to have them do the work, or even really share the burdon).
So far each contract or situation has fallen through…
Every single time I saw these as a diversion rather than the end of the road, this is the universe telling me that is not the right path for me and I need to take a turn in another direction…The direction I choose isn’t always the right one, and sometimes there are more trial and errors than outright successes… Frustrating as it is, scary as it is, you need to do what is right for your heart and soul… For some being in a contract is the right thing, security is highly important.
When the universe roadblocks you (redundancy, contracts or partnerships falling through, getting the sack etc), don’t see it as the end, see it as a sign you are going the wrong way and there is something else out there that fits you better.
One of the signs I am getting right now is I am taking on too much and I need to back down a bit… With that in mind I am going to take a few days off from my emails to reset, I have to practice what I preach, so instead of just leaving you with nothing for the rest of the week I am going to re-share some of the most read and responded to emails from the last couple of years.
Take care and do what is right for you, with love
Jen x

Thank You Mr Bowie

Today is the day we kick off with 31 Days Healthier Happier so if you haven’t joined the group head over to https://www.facebook.com/groups/367489410088133/ and join us, it’s FREE!

Have you ever have one of those days when you just feel really emotional and the slightest thing can set you off? Sometimes things happen that are not actually sad, bad or upsetting but you want to cry anyway because there is a lot to process and your head is not quite sure where to start and crying seems like the best option.

We all deal with these situations in very different ways.

Some of you will have that one person who you go to for advice and make decisions based on that, others like to ask around, get a few people’s opinions before making their mind up, others like to digest the information internally before talking to anyone else.

I am that last one, I want to work things out for myself, and I need to be clear in my own head what I think, feel and want to do before discussing with anyone else. I had one of those days last week, on the verge of tears all day and not because I was sad or confused about anything, but because I was terrified and excited and before I shared with anyone I wanted to be sure in my own head that I had made the right decision…

Internalising is what I do and I have tried other ways before only for it all to end up in a mess when I listen to other people and know I should have gone with my gut in the first place.

When my marriage ended I hardly told anyone for the first few weeks… I have been having a few of these times over the last few weeks where I really didn’t want to speak to anyone (which is kind of challenging in my job but I when I am with my classes and clients they get my attention, everyone else gets avoided).

The universe (or God, or whoever or whatever you believe in) likes to send messages to you and another one came to me in the form of a video clip that caught my eye on Facebook; a David Bowie interview and his words have been ringing in my ears all week:

‘always remember that the reason you started working was because there was something inside of yourself, that you felt if you could manifest it out then you would learn about how you co-exist with the rest of society. I think it is terribly dangerous for an artist to fulfil other people’s expectations, they generally produce their worst work when they do that…If you feel safe in the area you are working in, then you are not working in the right area, always go further in to the water than you feel capable of being in, go a little bit out of your depth and when you don’t feel your feet are quite touching the bottom, you are just about in the right place to do something exciting’

Thank you Mr Bowie…

The ethos of the Warrior Woman Project includes be true to yourself and be who you are, live by your values. It’s not always going to win you friends, but it will always win you respect.

Words worth remembering… we are all artists of our area of passion and expertise

Have an exciting Monday

With love

Jen x

Saturday Kitchen

I had this the other night and just had to share it again… heaven in a bowl

Chocolate Mouse

½ avocado

1 tablespoon nut butter

2 tablespoons cacao

1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste

½ teaspoon cinnamon (or more to taste)

100ml coconut milk

1 tablespoon desiccated coconut flakes to top

1 tablespoon goji berries to top

Blend avocado, nut butter, cacao, vanilla, cinnamon and coconut milk together, put in a dessert bowl sprinkle topping (could use chopped nuts or seeds instead of coconut) leave to chill in the fridge

Enjoy.

Jen x

Remember the Facebook group FREE 31 Days Healthier, Happier join up over at https://www.facebook.com/groups/367489410088133/

jen

Does it REALLY matter?

Something that came up in the workshop at the weekend when we were talking about being imperfect was the need to be there for everyone all the time, having the fear of not being the best mum / friend / partner / colleague.

I had recently been listening in on a webinar with Danielle LaPorte who had said that something we need to get better at understanding for ourselves is to have ‘unconditional love with conditional boundaries’.

I absolutely loved that when I heard it…

Our families, friends, maybe you don’t ‘love’ your colleagues but there hopefully is some respect there and of course yourself, there is unconditional love… The conditional boundaries need to come in to play when you take time for you. You need to refill your energy levels doing things that are just for you and you HAVE to do this guilt free.

The guilt free part can be hard particularly if you feel like you are letting someone else down, but you have to remember by not taking time for you, you are letting yourself down. It needs to be proper down time; a yoga class, meditation, reading, walking, listening to music, going to the cinema, whatever you need to recharge the batteries and switch off from the stress of the world.

I know so many people who work in the corporate world that put in so many extra hours to meet deadlines and get really stressed out about them. It was really refreshing that one of the girls on the course on Saturday who works pretty high up in the corporate world has the savvy to be able to put herself and her sanity first with the ‘what will actually happen if this report is late? Nothing, it will go in late…’ attitude.

I often ask my clients when they are stressing about things to take a step back and ask themselves ‘in the grand scheme of the world, does it REALLY matter?’. Obviously people working in professions where people’s lives are in your hands then the answer to that would be yes, but for the most part the answer is going to be ‘no’.

Write that down somewhere that you know you will see it when you get stressed out to remind yourself of that question….

‘in the grand scheme of the world, does it REALLY matter?’

Have a beautiful Wednesday

With love

Jen x

PS The payment option for the online workshop on Sunday 29th May 2016 https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=RCJY4CXNCS3UJ book your space today

I have gone all techy

Saturday’s workshop Perfectly Imperfect was fabulous, a small turnout due to a few last minute cancellations but we still rocked it and often a small workshop is more beneficial for the people participating.

Because there were a few cancellations I am going to run the workshop online on Sunday 29th May at 8-9pm meaning you can log in from the comfort of your couch through your phone, tablet or laptop (you have no idea how excited I am learning this new technology!!) If you would like to join us just head over to https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=RCJY4CXNCS3UJ to secure your space.

The feedback from the live course:

‘Everyone needs to take some time out to help themselves’

‘I really enjoyed today’s workshop, it’s nice to know you are not alone in your crazy thoughts’

We feel like we need to be perfect all the time and that can create a lot of negative emotions about how we feel about ourselves – insignificant, not good enough, ugly, dumb… Feeling imperfect leaves us feeling alone, judged and anxious. When we learn how to let go we can move forward feeling connected not just to other people but to ourselves, we feel brave and more confident to take chances and we will learn to give ourselves a break…

Don’t worry if you can’t make that date and time, I will be recording the session and sending a copy out to everyone who has signed up (because that is possible too!) never thought I would say this but I LOVE technology this week.

To help you now start to understand why it is okay to be imperfect, I can tell you this – we are all imperfect.

We have a blueprint in our minds of how our life should look, this might have been something you have had in your head since you were little. I know lots of women who think by the age of 35 they should be married, settled in their career and have kids, a home etc. but their reality is they are single, no kids, not really sure the career they are in is the one for them and are battling between should they buy or keep renting their home or go travelling…

So many questions, so unsettling.

The thing I am going to leave you with today… What do you really want to do if there were no consequences at all? What would you do?

Happy Tuesday

Jen x

That payment link to get on to the online training https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=RCJY4CXNCS3UJ